Team Dropout
by sublimerocker
Summary: Sakura's parents are killed in the Kyuubi attack. She is sent to the Orphanage along with Naruto. Forced together at a much earlier age, their personalites and abilites change. How will Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru fair as the "dropout" team? NaruSaku,AU
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there, im back with new fic. Ill still be writing "Parents", thank you for the supportive reviews by the way. They really got my drive to write back up. As for this fic, well it's another one of my zany AU's that a few of you have come to know and love. Ive had this idea for awhile and I wanted to try it out. The normal events with the Kyuubi happen, except Sakura's parents are killed in the attack. She is sent to the orphanage with Naruto. Now you might be saying "Oh come on another NaruSaku?" I like the paring, leave me alone you fucking paring Nazis! I also wanted their third teammate to be Shikamaru. The story will be far more action oriented, however it will retain my charming sense of humor. You like? Read and Review this new story please! Oh and vote on who their sensei is going to be. Kakashi or Asuma?**

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. HAH! Try and sue me now ye scurvy yellow bilge rats known thought the seas as lawyers! (I've been watching Pirates of the Caribbean. I don't own that either.)

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Chapter One

_October 11, Day after the Kyuubi attack_

_Hokage's Office_

Sarutobi's head was spinning. As soon as a paper left his desk, another took its place. He sighed and stood up. A cross was formed with his fingers and a doppelganger of the Third Hokage poofed into existence. The real Hokage pointed at his desk and muttered "Work" before leaping out the window. _"I have bigger things to worry about"_ he thought.

The third was in awe of the destruction around him. Whatever wasn't instantly vaporized by the demon was still reduced to rubble. Only three quarters of the villages buildings still stood. On top of that, the civilian death toll was already in the thousands. Corpses littered the streets like leaves on the forest floor. The few ninja who remained were pulling body after body from the decimated structures. Sarutobi's eyes caught one ninja in particular. The aging Hokage began to descend upon the person. The man was directing a few chunin who were clearing a building. He had a dark brown beard and an untucked shirt. Blue smoke was wafting from the cigarette in his mouth. "I see you still haven't given those up Asuma" the Hokage called out. The man turned and smiled. "Tell you what old man, you give up your pipe and icha-icha, ill give up my cancer sticks" he said jokingly. Sarutobi laughed and pulled the man into a hug. "It's good to see you again…dad" Asuma said. The Hokage sighed and rubbed his temples. "When did you hear?" Sarutobi asked. Asuma called out to the chunin's. "Good work you three, go get something to eat and report back to the administration building". They nodded and shushined away. Asuma turned back to his father. "A report came in around 12:30 last night. I got here as soon as I could but…the Fourth had already sealed the Kyuubi. Ive spent the last eight hours trying to find survivors" he explained. Sarutobi put a hand on his shoulder. "We can catch up later. I have…business that needs my attention". Before Asuma could even ask a question, the Hokage was gone in a flurry of leaves.

-

Candles cast an eerie glow on the room beneath the hospital. Two sanin and a masked jonin gathered around the sleeping bundles. "What's going to happen to them?" Kakashi asked. Jiraya just shook his head. "That's up to the Hokage. The villagers are hysterical right now; some are even calling for his death". Tsunade spat onto the cold concrete floor. "He deserves better than this. So does she, their parents would've wanted..." Tsunade stopped as she heard footsteps approach the doorway. "Therein lies the problem my students" said the Hokage. Sarutobi removed his hat and cloak, lit his pipe, and joined the rest of them. "As you are probably aware, you three along with myself are the only people who know about Naruto's heritage". Jiraya nodded "So who is going to raise him?" Sarutobi took his eyes from the newborn and blew out the sweet smoke. "In Minato's will, he named Daichi and Naomi Haruno as godparents. Unfortunately, they died in the attack. In their will, they named Minato and Kushina as godparents". Kakashi's fists were clenched so tight they could've made diamonds. "As you can see, this is a descion that requires a lot of thought. Tell me, what do you think we should do with Naruto and Sakura?" The Hokage questioned. Kakashi, Tsunade, and Jiraya chorused "I will take care of them!" Hiruzen Sarutobi rolled his eyes. "A perverted, woman chasing author, a drinking and gambling obsessed wreck, and an emotionally volatile jonin obsessed with the pervert's work. Slim pickings for parents. As much as it pains me to say, Naruto and Sakura will go to the orphanage together". A roar erupted from each of the people in the room.

"Orphanage? I don't understand why we can't just find someone to raise them. Most people would jump at the chance to raise the son of the fo…oh". Kakashi stopped and hung his head. Sarutobi nodded. "Minato still had enemies that wanted him dead. Iwa has sent countless assasins since the war ended. No one is to know of Naruto's parentage. The Hokage pulled the blanket away from the slumbering infant. The freshly inked seal glowed a demonic red. "And his generation will not know of the burden he carries". Sarutobi turned his head and looked at the other child. "Kakashi, take both of them to the orphanage, and talk to the matrons. Your new assignment is to watch over them until they are old enough to take care of themselves". Kakashi nodded and scooped up the two bundles. He shushined away leaving the two sanin and their teacher standing in the slowly dying candlelight.

-

Kakashi handed Naruto and Sakura to the matrons. They gladly accepted Sakura, but he had to argue in order to get them to take Naruto. "I will be nearby at all times. See to it that they are taken care of _correctly_" he said radiating killing intent. The caretaker nodded and stepped inside. Kakashi leapt into a tree and pulled his dog ANBU mask off. _'This is where I atone for my sins…sensei, Obito, Daichi; I will protect them with my life"._ Kakashi sighed and pulled out one of his favorite orange books. "Well at least I have a little time to read". Every so often a perverse giggle would float down from the leaves.

_Four years later_

_Orphanage Playground_

"Hey freak!" A tall purple haired girl shouted across the dusty playground. She and four other girls began closing on a corner unwatched by the matrons. "Are you deaf or just stupid pinky? Or has that massive forehead of yours finally cave in on itself?" another girl jeered. Sakura just pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head. "Please just leave me alone…" she whispered. A girl with a brown ponytail cracked her knuckles. "Let's just kick her ass already. I am tired of playing with her". Sakura began to tremble in fear. _'Why me?" _she thought inwardly.

Kakashi slipped his mask on and readied himself to drop in and stop the fight. _'Jesus-Christ, this is the third time this month'_ he thought. As he was about to lower himself, a flash of yellow appeared behind the girls. "What are you doing to Sakura-Chan?" a blonde boy called out angrily. Sakura's head shot up and stared at the person who had spoken. "N-Naruto?" she stuttered. The five girls turned and faced Naruto. "Get out of here now loser and we wont beat you up too!" a chubby red-head said to him. Naruto smirked "Put down the chocolate and then we'll talk fatso!" he yelled. The girl turned beet red. "Oh you're dead! Come on we can take him". The five girls left Sakura and circled around Naruto. He lowered himself into a rudimentary taijustu stance, one Kakashi had never seen before. "Hm…" the masked jonin muttered to himself.

The chubby readhead was the first to charge. She ran in low and threw a punch to Naruto's stomach. He quickly sidestepped and threw an elbow into her nose. She collapsed on the ground, clutching her gushing nose. The purple haired girl stepped over her friend and growled "Lucky shot punk". All four girls closed in on him, ready to pounce. "That is enough!" Kakashi shouted. Falling gracefully from the branch the masked ANBU stared down the children. "This is the third time this month ive had to break a fight up" he said sternly. The group of girls stepped back quivering. "If it happens again, I will not let it slide. I will see to it that each of you is severely punished". The girls just stared at the dirt beneath their feet. "IS THAT CLEAR?!" Kakashi roared. A weak "Y-Yes…" escaped the lips of the girls. Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. "Good. Now get out of here before I change my mind". And with that the girls ran, tails between their legs. Kakashi knelt down next to Sakura. "Are you alright Sakura?" he asked softly. She just nodded her pink head. Naruto sat down next to her. "Im fine too puppy-man!" he gleefully said. Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, we really need to work on that mouth of yours. Its going to get you into some real trouble one day". Naruto just stuck out his tongue.

"So are you two friends?" Kakashi inquired to the children next to him. Naruto had an infectious smile, and he found it hard to leave the two he'd spent four years watching over. Naruto nodded "Yeah, were each others only friend, besides you Inu". Sakura had calmed down a bit and was talking again. "We became friends after the first time Naruto saved me" she explained. Naruto smiled "For whatever reason, when the other kids saw her playing with me, they started being mean to her". Sakura raised her hand childishly "Inu-san, why does everyone hate Naruto so much?" Kakashi shook his head. "Because everyone else is ignorant Sakura. They can't see Naruto for what he really is, th…the good person you know". _'Whew! Close one, I almost blew it there'. _Kakashi pulled a pack of rice balls from a pouch. "Is that why those older girls picking on you Sakura?" She took a bite and pointed at her face. "My forehead…they think im some sort of freak". Kakashi nodded. _'Bullshit. It's mob mentality, like the rest of those idiot villagers. The law hasn't done a god dammed thing'. _Naruto just shook his head. "No way Sakura. Their just jealous cause their not as pretty as you". Sakura blushed. Suddenly a small crowd of children and the head matron began stampeding toward the trio.

"An ANBU? Are you finally here to finish off the demon once and for all?" the head matron asked. Kakashi stood up and laughed coldly. "No. I am the ANBU who was assigned to protect these two". The purple haired ring-leader tugged the matron's skirt. "He's the one who stopped us from doing what you told us to d…" The matron clapped a hand over her mouth and laughed sheepishly. "Oh these children are always making things up, come along Sakura, de…Naruto". Kakashi held a hand up and stopped them. "What did the purple headed one say? Because it sounded to me like you put them up to this". Sakura stepped in between them. "That's not all. They starve Naruto, and when she found me playing with him she hit me!" Sakura shouted. The matron's eyes blazed with rage. "Why you little demon whore!" she cocked her arm and threw a backhand at Sakura. Kakashi caught it like she was standing still. "You will not harm them ever again! Naruto, Sakura, go get your things. We're leaving". Naruto shrugged "This is all ive got Inu-san". That just made Kakashi angrier. "Sakura?" She shook her head. "All my other clothes have been ruined by those girls". Kakashi pumped KI at the matron. "I will return and make a full inquiry into this case of child abuse". Kakashi took Naruto and Sakura by the hand and lept away.

_Hokage's Office_

Naruto and Sakura were scared as Kakashi lead them to the Hokage's office. The secretary flashed an angry look at Naruto, but waved them on through. "Why do we need to see the Hokage, did we do something wrong?" Sakura asked. Naruto scratched his head. "Inu-san, what's a Hokage?" he asked. "That's a good question Naruto" rang out an elderly voice. The Third Hokage shook hands with a man in an expensive suit, and ushered the trio into is office. "I hope our meeting more than settles your troubled mind, Hayato-sama". The man bowed and walked away. The Sandaime put his hat down on the desk and motioned Naruto and Sakura to his side.

He walked out onto a balcony and pointed to the monument. "Throughout the history of this village, there have been four great ninja who have protected it with their lives. I was the Sandaime, and after the Yondaime died fighting the Kyuubi, I became Hokage once more. Being the Hokage, Naruto, means that I take care of everyone in the village". Naruto looked up to the Hokage. "Even me?" The Hokage laughed "Yes Naruto, especially you and Sakura as well". Naruto hugged the elderly Hokage "Thank you Ojii-san…" Naruto said hopefully. The Hokage smiled. "Grandpa huh?" Kakashi coughed "I'd hate to break this up, but we need to talk Hokage-sama".

"They were doing WHAT?!" bellowed the Hokage. "Starving and beating Naruto, as well as Sakura by association. I didn't know what to do, so I brought them here" said Kakashi. Naruto and Sakura were looking out over the balcony at the village. "They seem to have bonded, each other is really all they have". The Sandaime nodded and loaded his pipe. With a small fire justu he puffed a smoke ring. "Perhaps we should let them live on their own. Ill give them an allowance, and find them an apartment" said the Hokage. Kakashi seemed unsure. "Do you think they'll be safe? I can't watch them all of the time you know. Between missions and everything else, who will take care of them?" The Hokage looked at the playing children. "When they are old enough, I will enroll them in the Academy. Until then, watch them the best you can. Hopefully they will learn how to take care of themselves". The Hokage stood back up and motioned for Naruto and Sakura to come inside. "How would you two feel about living together?" They turned and shrugged at each other. "What do you mean ojii-san?" Naruto inquired. "I am going to get you an apartment. I will also give you a monthly allowance, but you have to be careful with it. So what do you say?" Naruto and Sakura smiled and nodded. "Good, now before we find you a place to live, let's go get some ramen, my treat". The Hokage, Sakura, and Naruto left, leaving Kakashi alone on the balcony. Kakashi heard Naruto say "Ojii-san, what's ramen?" Kakashi laughed. _'Oh god, if that kid is anything like his mother, the old man's gonna need more money'._ Kakashi laughed, pulled out his orange book, and shushined away.

-

**TA-DA!!! Watcha think? Not my best work in my opinion, but it will get better as Naruto and Sakura get older. I will also have my Naruto/Devil May Cry fic's first chapter out soon as well. Review please, and put your vote for sensei in the review. Kakashi or Asuma? **

**Thank you for reading, and see you next time.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am whole-heartedly sorry for the delay folks. School has been kicking my ass lately, and I haven't found a lot free time to write with. And I know I asked you to vote for who was going to be the sensei but, I have some serious problems with one of the choices. I would personally love to write Kakashi as their teacher. (Some of you were very adamant about your choice by the way) But this creates a lot of problems and plot-holes I have to write around. Who would teach Sasuke about the sharingan? Things like that. Plus, I wanted to be original with this fic. So sorry Kakashi-fans, but Asuma is their sensei. Kakashi will however maintain a close relationship with Naruto and Sakura. Please keep reading the fic, and I am sorry if I lose any readers because of this. Alright enough of this, on with the show!**

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I don't own Naruto, or any characters/elements of Naruto that may appear within this fan fiction.

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_Three years later…_

It was a picturesque day in Konoha. The sun burned brightly in the sky and the villagers were out and about. Children were playing, birds were singing, and shop-keepers were shop-keeping. Everything was as is should be. Well, almost everything.

"Get back here you little monsters!" A random villager shouted. Two children darted out in front of the irate shopkeeper. Both held brown bags in their small arms. One of the children had sun kissed blonde hair. He wore black sandals, baggy black shorts, and a white t-shirt with the Konoha spiral symbol in orange. He turned his head and his blue eyes widened at the man chasing him. The whiskers on his face began to tingle.

"Sakura-chan, follow me through the market, he'll never catch us!" The boy shouted at his companion. She whipped her head back at the boy.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID AT HIS STORE NARUTO!" Sakura roared. Sakura's red shirt was drenched in sweat, and her white pants were stained with dirt. She brushed her bubble-gum pink hair from her face and fell back behind Naruto. As the duo entered the market, they began to weave in and out of stalls and people. Naruto darted around a cart with Sakura in tow. They jumped and rolled through a stall, breaking several things. The shopkeeper couldn't keep up. The children disappeared into a sea of people.

"God dammit!" The shopkeeper shouted. He took the broom he had been brandishing like a sword and broke it across his knee. The man looked down and sighed. "That's another thing coming out of my paycheck…"

"That-pant-was-pant-a close one-pant-Sakura-chan" Naruto said.

"It was your fault you idiot! Why didn't we just go talk to the old man? He would have fixed things for us" Sakura said. She pulled a red ribbon from her pocket and began tying her hair up.

"I refuse to ask for help from that old fart!" Naruto shouted. They stood there in silence for a few moments. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan, let's just get home. Hey…with all the money we saved stealing groceries we can go to Ichiraku's tonight" Naruto said alluringly. Sakura smiled and looked back at her roommate.

"Well when you put it like that…" Sakura picked up her bag and started heading towards their apartment. Naruto dusted himself off and did the same. But suddenly an icy chill swept the alley. CLAP! CLAP!

"That was quite impressive" A man said from behind. "You know in some countries when a thief is caught stealing, they cut his hands off as punishment".

"Hey mister, I know what this seems like…" Naruto said as he turned around. He stopped when a shock of silver hair and a dog mask greeted him.

"Yo" Kakashi said. His hand rested on the hilt of his half-drawn katana. Naruto sighed and Sakura collapsed spread-eagle on the ground.

"Whew! Its only you Dog, for a second there I thought we were in trouble" Naruto said exuberantly.

"You two are in trouble. I leave for three days on a mission and you guys do this?" Kakashi said angrily.

"That guy was going to charge us five thousand ryo for groceries! We'd have no rent money if we actually paid that much…" Naruto shouted.

"Then why didn't you go to the Hokage?" Kakashi questioned.

"That's what I said, but noooo, we have to stand up for ourselves Sakura-chan…why do I ever listen to him?" Sakura said looking upwards.

"Traitor…" Naruto muttered.

"Idiot…" Sakura countered.

"Bitch!" Naruto shouted.

"Jackass!" Sakura roared back. She clenched her fist and lunged at Naruto. Kakashi grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and stopped her in midair.

"Alright, who taught you how to talk like that?" Kakashi said sounding annoyed. _'What the hell am I going to do with them?'_

"Some villager called Sakura a bitch a year or two ago…and Sakura has always called me a jackass when she's mad" Naruto said. Kakashi looked in the pink haired girl's direction.

"It means donkey Dog. It's a homonym" Sakura said matter-of-factly. Kakashi sighed and set her down.

"Sakura, you're very smart for someone your age…" the masked ninja began. Sakura stuck her tongue out at Naruto. "And that annoys a lot people". Sakura turned red with embarrassment. Naruto began to writhe on the ground with laughter. Kakashi then turned to Naruto.

"And you Naruto have the uncanny ability to persuade just about anyone to do just about anything…" Kakashi said. The blonde boy gave Sakura a thumbs up. "And one day its going to get you killed". The children looked at each other and back at the ground. Kakashi shook his head and got down on a knee. "Let's face it. Our lives have sucked. And as much as id' love too; I can't be around you guys all the time. The only way you two are going to survive is if you stick together…understand?" Kakashi said. Naruto sighed and nodded. Sakura looked like she was about to cry. The girl darted forward and hugged Kakashi.

"Thanks Dog…" Sakura said quietly. She rubbed her eyes and cracked a smile.

"Now you two get home, and don't let me catch you doing this again" Kakashi said. Naruto picked up the groceries and grabbed Sakura's hand. He then bolted out of the alley

"Alright Dog, ill make sure no one catches us next time!" Naruto called back. The blonde boy laughed and pulled a giggling Sakura around the corner. Kakashi nearly fell over.

_"Oh for the love of god…I need to talk to the Hokage"_ Kakashi thought to himself.

-

For once in all his time as Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen had actually gotten through the days paperwork. A smoke and then a quick nap were definitely in order. The Hokage reached into his pocket and produced his trusty pipe. He turned to face the window's that looked out over Konoha and sighed.

"It perplexes me why you and that perverted student of mine refuse to use doors like normal people. Did Minato do this too or does it skip a generation?" Sarutobi said angrily. The Hokage lit his pipe and took a long drag. "Get in here now Dog!" The Hokage shouted. Kakashi slipped through an open window and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Sensei never really needed to use doors. He'd use the Hiraishin no justu (Flying Thunder God Technique) just to get a snack from his pantry. There must have been 40 seals just in the house. Kushina hated it" Kakashi said. The Hokage laughed.

"Okay, report. I actually get to relax today and I want to enj…" Sarutobi suddenly stopped when Kakashi removed his mask.

"Hokage-sama…I wish to be released from active ANBU duty immediately" Kakashi said flatly. Sarutobi narrowed his eyes and frowned.

"What did they do this time?" The Hokage asked.

"I caught Naruto and Sakura stealing groceries. The store clerk was going to charge them ten times what that food was worth" Kakashi replied. The Hokage pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Kakashi, you're the best ANBU I have…"

"I'm all they have!" Kakashi yelled. He stiffened and then bowed "I apologize Hokage-sama. It's just…their so much like their parents. Naruto is Minato's spitting image and he's loud, obnoxious, and stubborn as mule, just like Kushina. And Sakura…she's a smart ass like Daichi, and she's got that neon pink hair like Naomi" Kakashi said. The Hokage closed his eyes and thought for a moment.

"In a few days, a batch of jonin will enter the ANBU basic training. You train the new squads, and ill consider putting you back to jonin status" Sarutobi said.

"That could take years. I can't let them keep living like this; I refuse to let them grow up like I di…" Kakashi looked at the floor.

"You can't keep living in the past Kakashi. One cannot change what has happened. Ive seen one of my students desert and do irreparable damage to this village. Knowing I could have stopped him from ruining so many lives haunts me to this day. My other two have all but abandoned the village as well" Sarutobi said solemnly. Kakashi seemed unfazed by the Hokage's words.

"Those kids ran from that store clerk like seasoned ninja. Naruto's been a brawler since he could crawl, and Sakura soaks up information like a sponge. I've never seen so much raw talent for being a shinobi in kids their age. The new school year for the academy starts in a few weeks doesn't it?" Kakashi said.

"You want me to enroll them?" The Hokage asked.

"It would keep them out of trouble, and did you really think they'd want to be anything else?" Kakashi said.

"No, not really…all Naruto ever talks about is how he's going to take my hat one day. I'm assuming they'll be at Ichiraku's later tonight?" Kakashi nodded. "Ill talk to them about it then. You're dismissed Dog". Sarutobi said. Kakashi nodded, bowed, and turned to leave. He climbed up onto the window sill and stopped.

"Sensei always told me that unless we learn from the mistakes of our ancestors we are doomed to repeat them. I haven't learned a god dammed thing from my father's mistakes. So with all due respect Hokage-sama, I don't think I should take advice from a senile old man…" Kakashi said. He immediately leapt out of the window. The Hokage's pipe tumbled to the floor, along with his jaw.

'_I am way too old for this horseshit…'_ Sarutobi thought to himself. He grabbed his hat and walked out the door. "Senile eh? I'll show him senile. That silver haired punk is going to be on D rank missions for the rest of his life!" The Sandaime yelled. His secretary looked at him in disbelief.

"Hokage-sama, are you feeling okay? Maybe you should lie down for a bit…" The young woman sounded genuinely concerned. The Hokage sighed and dragged his feet out of the building, muttering under his breath.

-

"Two more bowls please Ayame-chan!" Naruto said excitedly. He and Sakura never had this much money for ramen. Ayame smiled and began preparing their food. She loved the two kids who patronized her family's stand like little siblings. Her father was a big supporter of the fourth Hokage, and he instilled in her head that Naruto was not the demon he contained. He also detested the treatment Sakura got just from being associated with the boy. The Iciraku's were never sure what kept the pariah's of Konoha coming back; the food or the acceptance.

"There you go guys. Enjoy" Ayame said. Naruto began to inhale the soup while Sakura ate politely. The pink haired girl looked over at her blonde counterpart and sighed.

"Have you listened to a word I've said about table manners? Jeez, Your so gross when we you eat ramen…and ramen is all you eat. Ayame-nee-chan, Teuchi-san, we love you guys and your ramen but I'm making Naruto cut back. This much sodium can't be healthy for children our age" Sakura said.

"Your intellect never ceases to amaze me Sakura-chan" An elderly voice said. Naruto and Sakura froze on their stools.

"Crap…" Naruto muttered.

"Busted…" Sakura groaned. She looked at Naruto and the thoughts began to race through her mind. Naruto knew that look. He grinned.

"Hokage Distraction Plan 3-A?" Naruto whispered.

"You read my mind" Sakura replied. The children simultaneously spun on their stools and charged the person standing behind them.

"GRANDPA!" chorused Naruto and Sakura. Sakura went high and Naruto went low, encasing the Hokage in a bone crunching hug. The force of their 'attack' caused the aging man to fall onto his back. Sakura looked up to her adopted grandfather and smiled.

"Hiya gramps. Come to pick up our ramen tab?" Sakura said innocently.

"Or do you have presents for us?" Naruto said hopefully. He and Sakura looked so god-dammed innocent it was sickening.

"Actually I just came to talk with you two" The Hokage answered. He pulled himself off the ground and walked toward the ramen stand. Naruto and Sakura huddled together.

"I think it's a trap. I say we run…now" Naruto whispered.

"Shut up and let's just get this over with…" Sakura whispered back. She took Naruto's hand and dragged him back into the stand. The Hokage removed his hat and sighed as they sat down on either side of him.

"What did I tell you two the day I let you live on your own?" Sarutobi asked. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"That if we needed anything we just had to ask Dog or go find you and it would be taken care of" she replied.

"So tell me then children, why you didn't come to me when that clerk tried to cheat you". The Hokage said. He pulled a roll of bills from his robe. "How much have they managed to rack up this month Teuchi?"

"Well…don't worry about it Hokage-sama. Naruto and Sakura give us so much business that we give them a few on the house bowls in return" The ramen chef replied. The Hokage smiled and looked toward the end of the bar. 37 bowls were stacked in a neat pile next to Naruto. The blonde boy looked to the Hokage and back to the bowls. Naruto began rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"We paid for today's ramen with what we saved on groceries old man! We're sorry, it was wrong; we'll never do it again!" Naruto shouted.

"Yeah gramps, and if I remember correctly you told us that same day we would have to learn how to live on our own. So we solved the problem" Sakura said. The Sandaime sighed.

"Children, lets go for a walk. We have some important things to talk about" Sarutobi said.

"So…were not going to be punished?" Naruto said hopefully. Sakura thwacked him on his head.

"Quit reminding him you idiot!" She said sternly.

"No Naruto, you're not going to be punished" The Hokage said.

"Awesome! Bye Teuchi-san, bye Ayame-nee-chan!" Naruto shouted. Sakura just waved goodbye and ran after the Hokage.

-

"What else did you want to talk about Gramps?" Sakura questioned. All three of them leaned on a rail above Naruto and Sakura's apartment. She brushed a stray pink hair from her impish face.

"Sakura, do you know what you want to be when you grow up?" Sarutobi asked. Naruto began jumping and raising his hand.

"Ooh! I know what I want to be old man. The world's first Hokage slash professional ramen eater!" Naruto yelled excitedly.

"For the final time Naruto, you can't be a Hokage slash professional ramen eater; you can't be a professional ramen eater period!" Sakura snapped.

"Dream-killer…" Naruto muttered. Sarutobi faced the setting sun and waited for Sakura's answer.

"Well, become a ninja I guess. Why?" Sakura said.

"Because I've enrolled both of you in the academ…" The Hokage was cut off when once again Naruto and Sakura tackled him to the ground.

"Thank you old man!" Naruto yelled.

"Yeah grandpa, I can't wait to start. When is our first day?"

"Your first day is in three weeks. And tomorrow were going shopping for some new clothes and equipment. And we are going to pay for what we want this time" the Hokage said. Naruto and Sakura frowned.

"Steal a few groceries and you're branded for life…" Sakura said sarcastically. The Sandaime smiled.

"Ill see you two tomorrow, bright and early" And with that the Hokage phased out of existence.

"He has to teach us how to do that disappearing thingy" Naruto said.

"Hey…you didn't yell that. Alert the press! It's a sign of the apocalypse!"

"Sakura-chan, what's apocalypse mean?" Naruto asked. The pink haired girl sighed.

"You suck the fun right out of witty banter Naruto" she said. The duo walked back inside their apartment and began the nightly rituals they had developed over the past few years. Naruto took out the trash, locked the door, and made sure the few things they had in their two bedroom home were turned off. Sakura collapsed on the ratty couch that sat in their living room/kitchen. She peeled off her sandals and looked around. The chipped and peeling off white walls, the small black and white T.V. that crackled in the corner, and the table with two creaky red stools they always ate at. It was a dismal, creaky, broken down old apartment, but it was their home.

"Are you going to bed?" Naruto called from the hallway. He had changed into a pair of green pajama pants and a black T-shirt.

"Are you going to brush your teeth?" Sakura replied. Naruto frowned and marched into the bathroom. Sakura did the same. They finished and shut the tap off.

"Good night Sakura-chan" Naruto said.

"Night Naruto" Sakrua said back. They each shut their respective doors behind them and crawled into bed. Sakura slept like a rock. Naruto just stared at the ceiling, thinking.

-

_BOOM!_ Sakura shot up in bed when the thunder crashed. Lightning poured through her window, and the rain was coming down in sheets. "I…hate…thunder" Sakura whispered. She shook each time lighting struck or the thunder roared. Quickly she made her way to Naruto's room.

"Naruto? You awake?" Sakura said gently as she opened the door. Naruto sat up and looked at her.

"Sakura-chan what is it?" Naruto questioned. Sakura walked over to Naruto's bedside and hung her head.

"Can I sleep with you tonight? I…I'm afr…" Sakura stuttered like an idiot.

"Say no more Sakrua-chan". Naruto scooted over and pulled the covers back. Sakura practically jumped into the bed. The storm raged once again with an explosion of thunder. Sakura whimpered and pulled Naruto closer to her, snuggling into his chest.

"Its okay Sakura-chan, thunder can't hurt you" Naruto said. Sakura backed off a little, realizing how close they were.

"I know it can't hurt me…I just don't like it okay!" Sakura shouted. _'I hate being this scared of something like thunder'_ she thought.

"Come here" Naruto said. He pulled Sakura closer to him, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "You remember how a few years ago, just about everyone hated us?" Naruto questioned.

"Yeah. What about them?" Sakrua said.

"When we ran through the market today, almost no one paid even the slightest amount of attention to us. Lately, to the villagers, it's like we don't even exist. I'd rather have them hate me than ignore me completely…" Naruto said sadly. Sakura looked up to her blonde companion.

"Is that why you're always so loud? Because you want the attention of these random villagers?"

"No…well, not exactly. It's cause I want to be Hokage someday. It'll be my job to protect those random villagers at any cost. So I say everything really loud, and people look up to me" Naruto said.

"They don't look up to you, their all looking at you Naruto. If you act like an idiot, people will treat you like an idiot. You're going to have to earn the respect of the village by being a good ninja. Not being a loudmouthed brat" Sakura replied.

"Does this mean I can't pull pranks anymore?" Naruto asked dejectedly. Sakura pulled the covers tighter around them.

"No…we can still do that. Pranking is one of the few things your good at Naruto" Sakura said.

"So you really do think I can become Hokage then?" Naruto asked.

"Yes Naruto…I really do believe you'll become Hokage one day. But you won't live to see that day unless you shut up and go to sleep!" Sakura shouted.

"Look who's shouting now Ms. I'm afraid of thunder…" Naruto said.

"Shut up Naruto" Sakura spat. Her eyes were feeling heavier and heavier as they talked.

"Love you too Sakura-chan". Naruto said. He nearly laughed out loud when he heard the soft snores escaping Sakura's slightly open mouth. Naruto closed his eyes and felt the sandman's sweet embrace overtake him.

-

**Wow. This story is going entirely to slow. It will get better in the next few chapters, after I get done with all this back story and character development their will be some action. Lotsa angst and fluff this chapter, im sorry bout that. Kakashi is a bit OOC and Sakura is a smart ass in this story. Naruto is still his simple self, but I plan to change that a little bit as well. And as for the space between the chapters, I am sorry. I have two other fics (Were gonna be parents and Kings of Catastrophe) I need to work on and my writing time is limited. And I don't want to sound like a review whore, but ****number of reviews**** definitely prioritizes what gets finished first. So please click that little gray box with the green letters below this Authors Note and tell me what you think. Yeah, that little box right there. Click it. Type words. Thank you and see yah next time on Team Dropout!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well howdy yall! I have a little story to tell you guys before I get to the real story. I was a good 2000 words into this chapter when I decided to stop writing for the day. I was writing on a laptop that was not my own, so I saved my work to a jump drive and tossed it casually on top of my stereo. It bounced off and right into a glass of water nearby. Unfortunately it fried the drive and I had to re-type this chapter. I have been trying to keep up with a weekly deadline, but I have another story or two to work on so bear with me. Like always, enjoy. OH AND PLEASE REVIEW! I would 3 it if you would all review this fic. Thank you and ON WITH THE STORY!  
**

**-**

**I don't own Naruto. Cause if I did we'd have uncut episodes running on adult swim and Shippuden episodes being dubbed for this fall. I don't own adult swim either.**

**-**

In her seven short years of life, Sakura Haruno had overcome just about everything the universe could throw at her. After the Sandaime taught her and Naruto to read and write, Sakura read every damn book she could get her hands on. No task was ever insurmountable to her, as long as she had some kind of guide. _'But they don't write books for this…'_ She thought to herself.

"Wake up Naruto!" Sakura yelled. Her voice was hoarse from shouting at her blonde roommate. Sakura began rubbing her temples, sighing at the soothing motion. "Oh…this is hopeless. If there was a fire he'd sleep right th...Hey! Maybe that would work" Sakura said. She darted out of Naruto's bedroom and returned a moment later with an old newspaper, two frying pans, and a box of matches. Sakura set the frying pans down and rolled up the paper. She then took a match, struck it and held it to the faded gray paper. The makeshift torch flickered to life and Sakura's face twisted into and impish smile. "Naruto! Naruto! Ichiraku ramen is on fire!" Sakura shouted. She waved the flaming periodical in front of his face. Naruto's eyes snapped open.

"OH GOD! Sakura-Chan, go find the geezer while I get some water!" Naruto shouted as he leapt form his bed. Sakura smiled.

"Well now that your up, get changed because we have…" Sakura began. She was stopped by Naruto's shrieking. The blonde wailed and ran from the room. Sakura chased him out into the kitchen. He was rooting through every drawer and pantry in their kitchen.

"We need a bucket Sakura-Chan! Oh god this cant be happening!" Naruto yelled. Sakura ran to his side and grabbed his shoulder.

"Naruto snap out of it! We don't have time for this you lunatic". Sakura said. Naruto whipped around, tears streaking down his face.

"Why Sakura-Chan? I don't wanna live in a world without Ichiraku's" Naruto said. He began to sob uncontrollably. Sakura didn't know what to do. Her brain began to short circuit, and instinct took over. She cocked her arm back behind her. SMACK! Naruto's crying ceased. Sakura rubbed the back of her stinging hand. The blonde Jinchurriki brought a hand up to his reddened cheek.

"Y-you hit me…" Naruto stuttered.

"You were acting hysterical! And I was trying to tell you that Ichiraku's is fine". Sakura replied. Naruto sunk back in revolt of Sakura's words.

"I can't believe you would lie about something like that Sakura-Chan" Naruto said.

"It was the only way I could get you out of bed. Now hurry up and get ready," Sakura said. Naruto scrunched his face up in thought.

"Get ready for what Sakura-Chan?" Naruto questioned. Sakura shook her head and threw him a textbook.

"It's our first day at the Academy, I've been telling you all week Naruto. Now go get dressed, Dog will be here soon" Sakura said. Naruto's face instantly brightened.

"WHOO-HOO! We get to be ninja Sakura-Chan!" Naruto shouted. He stood up and embraced Sakura in a hug that could crush steel. He picked her up and began to spin like a top around their living room.

"Put me down you psycho!" Sakura screamed. Naruto obeyed and set her down gently. He smiled. "Dibs on the bathroom!" Naruto exclaimed. He turned around and eyed the bathroom door.

"Over my dead body you do!" Sakura shouted. She reached forward and grabbed Naruto's nightshirt, stopping him in his tracks. She released her grip and walked into the bathroom. "Get breakfast going Naruto, we don't have time for real ramen today" Sakura called out from the shower.

"Try not to drain the reservoir today Sakura-Chan" Naruto said through the bathroom door. Naruto put the kettle onto their ancient gas stove and got two cups of instant ramen out of their pantry. Sakura emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, hair-sopping wet.

"Your turn Naruto" She said. Sakura cinched her bathrobe tighter and went into her bedroom. Laid out neatly on her dresser were the clothes the Hokage had bought her earlier that month. A long sleeved red top with rips running down the sleeves and a pair of tan pants. Sakura pulled on the clothes and sighed._ 'It needs something…oh I know!'_ Sakura thought. She opened one of her dresser drawers and pulled out a red and white bandana. She tied the bandana securely on her pink head. Sakura smiled and gave her reflection a thumbs up. A high pitched screech sounded out from in the kitchen. Sakura jogged out and turned the stove off. She poured the boiling water into their cups and sat down at the table.

"So how do I look?" Naruto said from the hallway. Sakura shifted her gaze toward the blonde and did a double take. Naruto looked like a completely different person in his new clothes. Instead of his normal blue shorts and white t-shirt, he now wore a hooded dark green jacket and a pair of loose black pants. Underneath the jacket was a lighter green t-shirt, with an orange Konoha swirl stitched onto the front.

"I'm glad I talked Gramps out of buying you that ridiculous orange jumpsuit, you look much better in these clothes" Sakura said as she circled around Naruto.

"Hey! That jumpsuit was awesome Sakura-Chan. The only thing that could have made it any more awesome would have been those goggles I saw…" the blonde responded. Sakura just shrugged.

"Eat up, something tells me were going to have to get to the academy by ourselves today. Dog was supposed to be here half an hour ago".

-

The Academy entryway seemed packed to capacity with young students and their parents. Hugs and kisses were exchanged, lunches were given, and slowly the crying mothers and proud fathers began to file out. Almost all of them gave no notice to the small blonde boy and pink haired girl walking past them. A few gave an angry glare or muttered some obscene insult under their breath. Naruto just kept smiling and pulling Sakura along. A brown haired man in a Chunin vest walked out from the school's doors and let out a loud whistle. All of the new Academy students flooded in around his feet.

"Hello there everyone! My name is Umino Iruka, but you can call me Iruka-sensei. I'm only going to be teaching about thirty of you, but when I call your name go on inside and find your classroom". Iruka said. The scarred young man was about to call the names when a hand shot up in the back of the crowd. "Yes you in the green, what is it?"

"How'd you get those scars on your face?" Naruto asked innocently. Sakura looked appalled by the blonde's question. She immediately put Naruto in a headlock and clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Please excuse my roommate Naruto Iruka-sensei. He's an idiot, but a lovable idiot…hehe". Sakura said nervously. _'Its been two minutes and he's already in trouble'_

"Its really alright…Sakura?" Iruka said as he scanned his clipboard. He looked at Naruto and laughed. "Well Naruto, I got these scars on a mission given to me by the village" Iruka said proudly. Various oh's and ah's floated up from the crowd of children. "Now unless there are anymore questions, lets get started. Aburame Shino…." Iruka called out. Slowly the students began to file out into their respective classrooms. Naruto and Sakura scanned the hallway filled with identical doors looking for their homeroom.

"Hey Sakura-Chan here it is!" Naruto shouted over the din of the crowded school. Naruto opened the door and held it for Sakura. She smiled.

"You actually did something gentlemanly, I'm impressed" Sakura said. The pair entered the classroom and looked around. It was completely full except for two seats on the top row. A brown haired boy snored loudly on the table top.

"It okay if we sit here?" Naruto asked as he sat down. The s leaping kid with the topknot didn't respond. Sakura just shrugged and pulled a seat out for herself. She looked around the room and noticed a few familiar faces. Yamanaka Ion was at the table next to her, along with Akamichi Chouji. Naruto recognized some kids they used to try and play with at the playground when they were a few years younger.

"Is he seriously still asleep?" Ino asked suddenly.

"Who? This kid?" Naruto asked as he pointed to the sleeping form next to him. Ino nodded and stood up.

"Yeah…SHIKAMARU! Wake your lazy butt up!" Ino screeched in Shikamaru's ear. He bolted up right and glared angrily at Ino.

"Any particular reason you woke me up Ino, or did you just blow out my eardrums for fun?" Shikamaru said sarcastically. Naruto and Sakura laughed. This Nara kid had a sense of humor a lot like their own.

"I woke you up because your mom told me to keep you from sleeping in class! Do you want to flunk out your first year?" Ino asked. Shikamaru shrugged and turned his attention to the clouds outside the classroom windows.

"Don't care…" Shikamaru responded. Ino was red in the face. She stomped off to her seat muttering about lazy pineapple-headed idiots. Naruto couldn't believe how easily he had gotten rid of Ino. Sakura would have been much more persistent, and physical. Naruto tapped Shikamaru on the shoulder.

"Hey, Shikamaru right? I'm Uzumaki Naruto" the blonde greeted. Shikamaru lazily waved his hand, all the while staring up at the sky. "So I was wondering, how did you get that Ino girl to leave you alone?" Naruto questioned. Shikamaru sighed.

"Troublesome blondes…The condensed version, I tried to be as sarcastic and apathetic as I could possibly be" he said. Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Sarcastic…apathetic…Hey Sakura-Chan, what does it mean to be sarcastic and apathetic?" Naruto questioned.

"It doesn't mean anything Naruto. He's just covering up his laziness with big words" Sakura replied.

"Ooh…that one stung" Shikamaru quipped. Sakura shot up from her chair.

"You wanna fight pineapple boy?" Sakura countered.

"Hey, come on you two be nice. Shikamaru, this is Haruno Sakura" Naruto said. _'And she says I rub people the wrong way…'_

"Charmed" Sakura said sarcastically. Before the brown haired boy could get in another barb Iruka walked into the classroom. Their new sensei picked up a piece of chalk and began writing out a schedule on the board.

"History? Math? I thought we were here to become ninja, not do bookwork" Naruto grumbled. Sakura nodded.

"I'll bet your entire ramen stash I already know the math and history curriculum" Sakura responded. Shikamaru sighed and lifted his sagging eyelids.

"Do you mind? Some of us are trying to sleep here…" Shikamaru said. Sakura shot him an angry glare. But her face suddenly softened. Sakura put her hands behind her head and kicked her legs up onto the table.

"I like your style deer-boy. Naruto, pay attention and wake me up for lunch".

"Deer boy?" Shikamaru said. He sounded annoyed, even more than usual.

"Why do I have to be the one to pay attention?" Naruto whined. Sakura cocked one eye open.

"Hmm…because I said so. Now get to it yah slacker. Don't want us fallin' behind on our first day" Sakura said.

"What a drag…" Naruto groaned.

"You said it blondie" Shikamaru mumbled.

-

RING! The school bell chimed, and the academy students began filing out into the courtyard to eat and play. Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru picked a shady spot underneath a tree to eat. Shikamaru had reluctantly agreed to join them, his best friend Chouji had run home to eat with his family. Shikamaru pulled out a bento, and began to eat while Naruto and Sakura sat foodless in the shade.

"You two gonna eat lunch?" Shikamaru asked. Naruto looked away from Shikamaru and sniffed the air. He cracked his goofy smile and nodded.

"Oh yeah, just a few more seconds…" Naruto replied. Shikamaru heard footsteps outside the academy wall. Naruto had a ravenous look on his face.

"Try not to maul Ayame-neechan this time Naruto" Sakura said.

"No promises Sakura-Chan" the blonde boy said. Shikamaru looked back and forth between them.

"What are you guys talking about?" Shikamaru asked. Sakura pointed to the academy entrance and rolled her eyes. A pretty young woman in an apron stood, scanning the courtyard for someone. In each hand she held a food delivery box, with Ichiraku Ramen painted on the sides.

"Who do you think is the fastest student here Shikamaru?" Sakura questioned back.

"Dunno, Sasuke I guess. The Uchiha are renowned for their speed" he responded. "This is so troublesome, what's that got to do with…"

"Just watch" Sakura said flatly.

"AYAME-NEECHAN!" Naruto roared. In the blink of an eye Naruto was gone. Shikamaru's mouth dropped. A split second later he reappeared, holding the food boxes and grinning like an idiot. Shikamaru was speechless.

"Cool huh?" Sakura said cheerfully. Naruto was staring at the food licking his lips in anticipation. "Forget anything Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah. ITADAKIMASU!" Naruto shouted. The blonde boy opened the food boxes and pulled out six bowls of ramen. He handed Sakura one and set the other five in a semi circle around himself. Sakura took her chopsticks and thwacked the blondes head.

"Did you pay for our lunch Naruto?" Sakura said asked. Naruto shook his head, noodles hanging from his open mouth. "Of course you didn't…hey Ayame-Neechan, over here!" Sakura called. The brunette turned and sighed in relief. She jogged over to their spot beneath the tree. Sakura got up and spoke softly to Ayame. The brown haired young woman nodded.

"Sorry bout Naruto Ayame-Neechan, you know how he gets around lunch time" Sakura said.

"Oh it's alright, I love being able to get out of the shop once in awhile. How's your first day of school so far?"

"Boring" Naruto said.

"Mind numbing" Sakura replied.

"Troublesome" Shikamaru muttered. Ayame shrugged and picked up the delivery boxes.

"Don't worry guys it'll get more exciting eventually. Stay out of trouble you two" Ayame said as she left.

"Bye Ayame-Neechan!" Naruto and Sakura chorused. The school bell chimed and the academy students began dragging their feet back towards class. Shikamaru yawned and stood up. He stretched and began walking away from Naruto and Sakura. He stopped and did and looked over his shoulder.

"You two coming?" Shikamaru asked. A smirk appeared on his normally bored face.

"So does this mean were not as 'troublesome' as you thought?" Sakura questioned.

"No, the two of you are still troublesome, just a hell of a lot less than everyone else here" Shikamaru replied.

"Was that a compliment Sakura-Chan?" Naruto asked childishly.

"No, not really. But yeah, for him its about as close to a compliment as he can get" Sakura answered.

"NARUTO! SAKURA! SHIKAMARU! GET IN HERE NOW!" Iruka's booming "Demon-head" voice called from the classroom. The trio looked at each other with confused faces. Sakura however, was trying her hardest to keep a straight face. Naruto frowned when he heard a snicker escape Sakura's lips.

"What did you do Sakura-Chan?" Naruto asked accusingly.

"Nothing, I…uh…took a page out of your book Naruto. I played a little prank, that's all".

"Why do I get the feeling that your 'prank' is going to get us all thrown in detention?" Shikamaru asked.

"Don't worry you guys, what's the worst that could happen?" Sakura responded. The doors into the academy swung open, and a wave of chakra washed over the courtyard. Iruka stepped out into the sunlight and pointed at Sakura.

"Get over here now!" Iruka shouted. Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru trotted over to their teacher and stared up at his furious expression.

"Alright, which one of you told that cute ramen girl I would pick up your 600 ryou ramen bill?" Iruka asked angrily. Sakura pointed behind Iruka.

"You mean that girl in the bikini right there?" Sakura said. Iruka whipped his head around.

"Huh? Where?" the Chunin instructor asked excitedly.

"RUN! Run you idiots, run!" Sakura shrieked. The trio began sprinting away from their distracted teacher. Naruto shook his head as he ran.

"What part of your little 'prank' seemed like a good idea?" Naruto asked.

"Troublesome pink haired…making me run, run of all things…" Shikamaru mumbled.

"You know, I think this is going to be the start of something beautiful guys" Sakura replied.

"That doesn't answer my question Sakura-Chan" Naruto said.

"HEY! YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CANT HIDE!" Iruka bellowed from around the corner. The pack of running academy students shuddered and picked up the pace as they rounded the Academy dojo.

"How bout we discuss plans like this before we spring them into action unexpectedly on each other?" Shikamaru said sarcastically.

"Whatever you say lazybones!" Sakura replied.

"How long do you think Iruka-sensei will look for us?" Naruto asked.

"Oh…not long" A voice said from above. Iruka was running along the wall above them. He shook his head and leapt down in front of the three fleeing children. The slid to a stop in front of the scared Chunin.

"Sensei, we can explain…" Sakura began.

"Detention. NOW!" Iruka commanded. Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru bowed.

"Hai Iruka sensei!" They chorused. As they turned to leave, Iruka sighed.

"Wait. That was a pretty good distraction you used on me Sakura. And you three actually got a good distance away from me. Most students your age wouldn't have gotten half as far as you did".

"Thanks Iruka sensei. So does this mean were off the hook?" Naruto asked.

"Oh not by a long shot. Now get upstairs and start cleaning the detention room. If its spotless, you guys can go home at the end of the day".

"And if it isn't spotless?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well cross that bridge when we come to it" Iruka said menacingly. "NOW MOVE!" He shouted. Naruto saluted and ran off. Shikamaru shrugged and jogged away. Sakura just stared and smiled.

"Do you really think Ayame-Neechan is cute Iruka-sensei? I could put in a good word for you if you let us off the hook…" Sakura said alluringly.

"Nice try. Those erasers won't clap themselves now" he responded. Sakura shrugged.

"Cant blame a girl for trying" she said. Iruka watched her catch up with Naruto and Shikamaru. The sound of their laughter floated back toward him. He sighed.

"There a lot like I was at that age…" Iruka said out loud. He smirked. _'Maybe ill go tell them to head back to class'_. But a crash and Naruto's shouting made Iruka's grin sour. "Or maybe not…I don't get paid enough for this crap" Iruka brought a palm to his face and ran off after his 'troublesome' students.

-

**That ending sucked. But the background story is finally over! Next chapter we jump to the genin exams. I'll flashback to their academy days from time to time when necessary. Depending on how many reviews I get, ill either finish my other fic WGBP, or work on the new chapter of this. A lot of review's gets this one updated earlier. Thank you to everyone who's favorited, alerted, or reviewed this fic. See yall next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**The feedback I got last chapter was amazing, you guys rule. As of May 31, Team Dropout has been added into 9 C2's, and broke the 50 review mark. You guys freaking' rock. Virtual cookies all around. Now as for the fic, there will be a time jump here. I know, I know, but I really don't want to write the rest of their time at the academy. Flashbacks will be used when needed. I will try to make the flashbacks fit seamlessly into the story. So once again, REVIEW/FAVORITE/ALERT/C2 por favor! Gracias and enjoy the story.**

**-**

I don't own Naruto.

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_Five years pass…_

The hot midday sun beat down on the Hokage monument, while two shadows danced across the mighty faces carved into the mountainside. A third sat motionless on top of the Yondaime's head.

"It's almost perfect you guys, it just needs a little more…I know. Shikamaru, can you lower down that bucket of white?" Sakura asked.

"I could…" Shikamaru replied coolly. He stretched out onto his back and yawned.

"Would you two quit fighting and finish up? The chunin patrols aren't completely inept, someone's bound to see us eventually". Naruto interjected as he repelled from the nostril of the Nidamime. Shikamaru sat up.

"Did Naruto just use the word inept? That's a bad omen. My troublesome senses are tingling, so I say we bail" Shikamaru said. Sakura leapt upwards toward Shikamaru and held out three fingers.

"Three things. Number one, no one cares. Number two, your troublesome senses are always tingling. And last but not least…get off your lazy ass and help us!" Sakura shrieked at Shikamaru. He just shrugged and laid back down. Sakura wiped the sweat from her brow and picked up the bucket of white paint.

"Heads up Naruto!" Sakura shouted. She tied the bucket to a rope and lowered it down to her blonde roommate. He caught the bucket, pulled a kunai from his pouch, and popped the lid. Sakura repelled back down and looked up at their work. "Would you hand me that brush to your left Naruto?" Sakura asked the boy. Naruto just stared out at the village.

"I think our work is done here Sakura-Chan." Naruto said abruptly.

"What? Why would you want to stop now?" Sakura asked. It wasn't like Naruto to half ass one of his precious pranks. He pointed to a few fast moving specks off in the distance.

"Them. Two or three Chunin, and they're closing in fast. Shikamaru! Mind giving us a time estimate?" Naruto called out. The lazy brown haired boy sighed and stood up.

"Based on their distance…speed…we've got a minute, minute and a half if were lucky. Let's ditch the camouflage and get ready" Shikamaru said. Naruto and Sakura gave him a thumbs up. They shucked the tan overall's Naruto had 'provided' for the prank, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ahh…much better" Sakrua said. Naruto and Shikamaru's jaws dropped. Gone was the modest Chinese style dress Sakura normally wore. In it's place was a red short sleeve shirt and mini-skirt and a pair of thigh length black bike shorts. The trio were in those early and awkward stages of puberty. Sakura's exposed legs and midriff were doing strange, wonderful things to Naruto and Shikamaru's adolescent minds.

"You look…" Naruto was at a loss for words. For the first time in his life he was speechless. His eyes began to wander as Sakura stood out on the edge of the monument. She turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"Guys I appreciate your approval, but I'm up here" Sakura said as she pointed to her eyes. Naruto and Shikamaru recoiled in embarrassment. _'_

"Hey you three! Stop right there!" A voice shouted out from below. Three Chunin stood at the base of the monument, glaring angrily in the trio's direction.

"It's about time! I was beginning to think no one would show up to our art exhibition" Naruto shouted. The Chunin became enraged. Shikamaru closed his eyes and thought for a few moments.

"I'd hate to say this…" Shikamaru began "But were screwed. I've run this scenario two hundred and seventy eight times, all of which ended with us being captured. Best outcome, we surrender now and hopefully you two can sweet talk Hokage-sama into letting us off the hook". Naruto smirked.

"Like hell we are! I've been waiting for a chance to really test this" Naruto said. He made a cross with the index and middle fingers of both hands and yelled "Kage Bunshin no Justu!" Twenty solid Naruto clones proofed into existence. "Alright listen up! Five of you get down there and distract the Chunin. The rest of you run and don't stop until you run out of chakra or I dispel you. Understood?"

"Understood boss!" The clones chorused. The leapt of the cliff face to do as they were instructed. Sakura and Shikamaru stared wide eyed at Naruto.

"H-How did you do that?" Shikamaru stammered. Naruto had trouble learning the basic bunshin, it took three months of practice and Sakura's help to just get one down. But Naruto just created twenty. And what the hell was a Kage Bunshin anyway?

"Naruto where the hell did you learn that?" Sakura asked. Naruto looked down at the Chunin who had spotted them. One of them punched a clone in the face, dispelling it in a puff of smoke.

"I'll explain while we run, now lets get out of here" Naruto said. Without warning he took off down the stairs leading down the mountain. Sakura turned to Shikamaru and shrugged before sprinting off after their blonde friend. He sighed. _'What is it with them and running? This is so troublesome…' _ Shikamaru ran down the steps after his two companions.

-

"Explain to me why were hiding in the ramen stand" Shikamaru said doubtfully. He prodded the noodles swirling in the oily broth in front of him.

"Because it's the most obvious place to look for us, so no one will even bother to check here" Naruto replied. He picked up his bowl and shoveled the ramen down his throat. Teuchi laughed.

"Kid, sometimes I wonder if you even taste our food" The ramen chef said before putting yet another steaming bowl in front of Naruto. The blonde boy was starry eyed at the sight of his ramen. Sakura grabbed the bowl and yanked it away from him before he could dig in.

"AHH! Why Sakura-Chan? Why god dammit why?" Naruto moaned.

"You still haven't told us how the hell you could use Kage Bunshin. So spill and ill give your ramen back" Sakura said. Naruto sighed.

"It was two weeks ago…"

-Flashback-

The door to the Hokage's office swung open.

"Yo! You here old man?" Naruto said aloud as he entered the empty office. "Man…Shikamaru's grounded, Sakura bails on me to hang out with Ino, and now Gramps is gone…" Naruto rambled to himself. He noticed that the Hokage's hat was sitting unguarded on top of his desk. Naruto nearly squealed as he flew into the Sandaime's seat. He gleefully put the wide brimmed hat on his head. _'So this is what it feels like to be Hokage. I think I could get used to this…' _Naruto thought. He leaned back and kicked his feet up onto the desk, knocking over a small sculpture of the Konoha leaf symbol.

Click. "AHH!" Suddenly the floor opened up beneath Naruto. He screamed as he plummeted into the darkness below him. And as soon as it began, the ride stopped. Naruto looked around.

"Where the hell am I?" He said out loud. Torches flickered to life, casting a soft orange glow on the walls of the dark chamber. At the end sat a very large scroll perched atop a shrine. Naruto stood up and hesitantly approached it. He knew that whatever was in this scroll was for the Hokage's eye's only. So naturally he had to see. Naruto gingerly picked up the massive scroll and set it down on the stone floor. The blonde boy was drooling with anticipation as his prize unfurled. Across the top of the scroll the words 'Kage Bunshin no Justu' were emblazoned in red.

-End Flashback-

"So I stayed there and practiced the justu until I got it right. Can I have my ramen back now Sakura-Chan?" Naruto asked impatiently. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Here" Sakura said as she slid the bowl to Naruto. He then proceeded to inhale the salty noodles.

"Ah…You know, I think I'll have another. You guys aren't still hungry?" Naruto questioned.

"Naruto, Chouji wouldn't still be hungry" Shikamaru swiftly replied. The blonde boy just shrugged.

"Whatever. You two need to relax, we ditched school, pulled off the greatest prank I've ever planned, and got away with it. What more could you possibly ask for?" Naruto said optimistically.

"He's got a point Shikamaru. Maybe you should try being positive once in a while" Sakura said.

"I will if you try controlling your rage" Shikamaru said slyly.

"I don't know what your talking about" Sakura huffed. She crossed her arms and faced away from her two male counterparts. Naruto and Shikamaru laughed. But they stopped when daylight flooded the stand.

"Hey Agama, your da…" Iruka stopped when he saw his students sitting in the stand. Naruto froze, noodles hanging from his mouth. Sakura groaned and put her head in her hands. Shikamaru just let his body go limp, smacking his forehead on the counter.

"Hey Iruka-Sensei…" The trio half-heartedly greeted. Iruka just shook his head.

"Please tell me you guys just really wanted ramen so you decided to skip class, and that alert to find the three kids who vandalized the Hokage monument is about another group of delinquents" Iruka asked angrily. Sakura stood up.

"Now hold on a minute! We may be lazy, disruptive in class, and prone to a little trouble now and then, but we are not delinquents. I'm shocked and offended that you would label us like that Iruka-sensei" Sakura said. Naruto smiled. If there was one thing Sakura's smart ass attitude was good for, fast-talking their way out of sticky situations was it. Iruka just rolled his eyes.

"Oh really? Then would you mind showing me your hands?" Iruka said triumphantly. Sakura immediately sat back down onto her hands. Shikamaru stood up and began dragging his feet away slowly away from the ramen stand. "And where do you think your going?" Iruka asked his laziest student.

"Hm? Oh, well it's obvious that you've…" He turned around and grabbed Sakura's wrist, yanking it out from underneath her. It was covered in splotches of red paint. "Literally caught us red handed. I was heading back to class so we could just skip the lecture and I could get back to sleep. It's a lot less troublesome this way" Shikamaru replied. Iruka just blinked. These kids took all the fun out of his job.

"Pay for your food and march your asses back to class! You are going to scrub the mountain spotless after school today. Understood?" Iruka barked. The three academy students nodded. Naruto pulled out his frog wallet. He threw down a few bills onto the counter.

"Thanks for letting us hide out here old man. We'll be back later" Naruto said as he stepped out of the stand. Sakura waved bye and followed her blonde companion. Shikamaru gave a barley noticeable nod of the head and left. Iruka followed his students out of the stand.

"Bye Iruka-Kun" Ayame said alluringly. Iruka blushed.

"When do you close tonight Ayame-Chan? Maybe I'll stop…" **THWACK!** Teuchi brought down a large butcher knife onto his chopping block.

"Goodbye Iruka…" Teuchi said menacingly.

"Daddy…" Ayame warned. She looked back to see Iruka jogging after his students. She laughed.

"You know I like that Iruka" Teuchi said.

"Then why did you scare him off like that?" Ayame questioned.

"Because he took our best customers away before they could buy another bowl".

-

Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the blackboard. The whispers and muffled laughs were silenced when Iruka shut the door.

"Alright class, since these three decided to skip the lesson today, they're going to help us review the three basic ninjustu we learned this year. First we have the Henge-no-justu. Sakura, would you please demonstrate?" Iruka asked politely.

'What should I henge into?" Sakura asked back.

"Anybody you want, just make sure the change is complete and as accurate as possible" Iruka replied. Sakura nodded and thought for a moment.

"Alright, I got it" She said. Sakura made the ram seal and began molding chakra around herself. "Oiroke-no-Justu! Sakura Version!" A cloud of smoke engulfed Sakura. As the smoke began to dissipate, every jaw in the class room dropped. Where the thin school girl had been standing moments before, now stood a tall, gorgeous pink haired woman. The new outfit Sakura wore now hugged the curves of the illusion she created. Sakura bit the end of her index finger. "How did I do Iruka-sensei?" Sakura said seductively. Iruka coughed and tried to discreetly wipe the blood gushing from his nose. Naruto and Shikamaru were writhing on the floor with laughter. When they saw Iruka's reaction, they sat up and started clapping.

"YEAH! That's my Sakura-Chan! I knew teaching you that technique would pay off" Naruto shouted. Sakura rolled her eyes and poofed back to normal. She bumped fists with her blonde friend and looked at Shikamaru. He was pointing and laughing at someone in the back.

"Hah hah hah! Ino, you should've seen your face. It was priceless, I wish I could frame it!" Shikamaru said through laughter. Sakura giggled at her blonde girlfriend and sat down in the empty seat next to her. Iruka had finally come to his senses.

"Alright that's enough! Sakura, your Henge was…excellent as far as technique goes. However, if pull that crap in my classroom again and I will be forced to punish you" Iruka said forcefully.

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you…did I just say that out loud?" Shikamaru said out loud. Once again the classroom erupted in laughter. Iruka slammed his forehead onto his desk. Sakura just shook her head and began chattering away with Ino.

"Shikamaru, so kind of you to volunteer. Would you show us the Kawarimi-no-Justu please?" Iruka said as he lifted his head.

"I guess…troublesome. Kawarimi-no-Justu." He said apathetically. Suddenly he and Naruto changed places. Iruka shook his head.

_'So much wasted talent in these three…'_ He thought to himself. "Excellent Shikamaru, you get bonus points for subsisting another person.

"Sweet. Can I go back to sleep now?" Shikamaru asked hopefully. Iruka nodded. Shikamaru trotted up the stairs and took his normal seat. He then passed out on his desk.

"Naruto your up. The Bunshin-no-Justu, as I recall you've failed the last few tests over this" Iruka said in his teacherly way. Naruto shot him a devilish grin.

"Alright fine…" Naruto said, sounding

"Idiot. That's not even the right hand sign. And you think your going to be Hokage?" Sasuke remarked. His fan club joined in and shot a few jeers at Naruto.

"Your about to eat those words emo boy, Kage Bunshin no Justu!" Naruto shouted. Twenty Naruto's poofed into the classroom, silencing the peanut gallery. Iruka stared dumbfounded at Naruto.

"How…Nar…When…How the hell can you make Kage Bunshin's!?"

"Don't worry about it. So does this count as extra credit or am I just showing off?" Naruto quipped. Before Iruka could answer the school bell rang.

"Remember your graduation exam is tomorrow! Don't be late!" Iruka called after them. "Now as for you three…Huh?" The classroom was deserted. "Naruto! If you think your getting out of cleaning the mess you made…" Iruka stopped when he noticed the white envelope sitting on top of Sakura's desk. He rubbed his throbbing head and opened it.

_Iruka-Sensei-_

_Sorry we gave you the slip like that, but did you seriously think we of all people would do forced labor? Naruto's new jutsu is a pretty handy distraction huh? Inside is some money so you can hire a genin team to clean the monument. See you tomorrow. _

_Your favorite dropouts/troublemakers Naruto, Sakrua, Shikamaru…_

Iruka stared at the letter for what seemed like an hour. These kids really didn't get the credit they deserved. They executed a complicated plan in plain sight of the entire village. And they evaded squads of chunin and jonin like seasoned ninja. He pocketed the cash and took out a binder from his desk. _'I've got some changes to make'_.

-

_The next day…_

"Team seven. Sasuke Uchiha, Ino Yamanaka, Chouji Akimichi." Iruka recited as he read down the list. "Team eight. Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka. Team nine is still active…and team ten, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Shikamaru Nara. Now go and get some lunch, and learn a little about your new teammates" Iruka said proudly. "It has been an experience teaching all of you. Good luck with your careers as shinobi of Konoha".

"Am I hearing things, or did he just saw we're on the same team?" Sakura said. Naruto ignored her, he was more focused on balancing the sharp end of a kunai on his finger tip. Shikamaru's eyes stared listlessly out the window.

"No, you weren't hearing things. And I cant believe it either. I was sure they'd put me on a team with Chouji and Ino. Plus, our collective GPA is about as low as you can get" Shikamaru replied. His gaze never left the clouds.

"Whatever. Were team ten now! You shouldn't question a good thing man, your negativity is going to derail our gravy train. Speaking of gravy, I think Iruka said it was lunch time. Let's go to Ichi-"

"No. We are not eating ramen again. I love Ayame and Old Man Teuchi as much as you do, but if I eat another bowl of ramen today I'll puke".

"How bout' dango?" Shikamaru suggested. Naruto shrugged and Sakrua nodded.

"I know a place." Sakura said.

-

The trio walked back to the Academy with dango in hand, ignoring the hateful glare's some of the villagers shot at Naruto. Sakura studied each face, filling them in her mental 'revenge' folder. As they entered the Academy courtyard, they noticed a man in a Jonin vest smoking a cigarette by the doors. His dark brown hair was spiked straight up, and he had a thick brown beard on the edge's of his face. The man looked in their direction and raised an eyebrow. He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a slip of paper.

"Hey! You three team eight?" He called out. The man began walking toward them. The smell of burning tobacco filled the air. Naruto wrinkled his nose and sniffed the air.

"I know that smell anywhere. It's the same brand of tobacco the geezer uses" Naruto said. The man smiled and gave them a small wave.

"How's it going. I'm Asuma Sarutobi your new Jonin sensei" Asuma greeted the three Genin. Sakura put a hand on her chin and thought for a moment.

"You're the Hokage's son aren't you?" Sakura asked Asuma. The Jonin raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I've always hated the recognition I got because of it. Hell, I was so fed up with the old man I left the village for fifteen years"

"So you call him old man too…sweet. What's our first assignment as a team sensei?" Naruto asked. Asuma pointed to the Hokage tower.

"To the left of the building is a hillside I like to sit and smoke on. Meet me there as quickly as you can get there". And with a swirl of leaves Asuma was gone.

"Did you know Gramps had a son?" Naruto asked Sakura.

"Yes. And cancer sticks aside, he seems like a strong Jonin. What do you think Shika?" Sakura asked. Shikamaru was dragging his feet off in the direction Asuma had pointed.

"Do either of you ever listen? Let's hurry this up, I bet there's some awesome clouds to watch from that hillside". Shikamaru said. He leapt up onto of the nearest building and took off toward the tower. Naruto and Sakura followed. After a few quick roof jumps, something caught Naruto's eye. A flash of silver and orange leaning against a fence.

"Hey guys, hold on for a second" Naruto said. He changed course and touched down on the rooftop he saw. He nearly fell when he saw who it was.

"Kakashi? Why the hell are you up here? You said last week that the Hokage gave you a Genin team didn't you" Naruto asked the silver haired man.

"Hmm…yes I think he did" Kakashi replied. Sakura and Shikamaru touched down and joined Naruto.

"Who's the freak with the mask?" Shikamaru said out loud. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Kakashi Hatake, elite Jonin of Konoha. Otherwise known as Copy Ninja Kakashi. Don't let the hair and the mask or the attitude fool you Shikamaru. Kakashi's one of the village's most lethal shinobi. He's also chronically late and a pervert to boot" Sakura said. Kakashi's eye narrowed.

"It's nice to see you too Sakura. Tell me, who did they stick with you miscreants as sensei?" Kakashi asked.

"Asuma Sarutobi. You know him?" Naruto said.

"The human chimney? I didn't know he was back in town, I guess I'll have to talk to him and make sure he takes care of my favorite trouble makers" Kakashi replied. Shikamaru frowned.

"You know if I wasn't so intrigued by your complete and total apathy, I'd say something to you about ditching your students in a classroom while you goof off. Dare I ask which young mind's your going to be molding Kakashi-sensei?" Shikamaru asked. Kakashi reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a scroll.

"Lets see…Ino Yamanaka…Chouji Akimichi…and Sasuke Uchiha. You know them?" Kakashi said. Sakura, Shikamaru and Naruto collapsed on the floor, squirming with laughter.

"Poor Ino and Chouji…I cant imagine the hell that being on a team with Mr. Sunshine himself will be" Naruto chuckled. Kakashi frowned beneath his mask.

"What do you three mean? Are they really that bad?" Kakashi asked.

"Ino can be a bitch from time to time" Sakura replied.

"Chouji could out eat a bear before hibernation, and then some" Shikamaru said.

"Sasuke? Have you ever wondered what it would look like if someone glued at black chicken to a clinically depressed child's head?" Naruto asked Kakashi.

"That question has haunted my thoughts every hour of everyday" Kakashi replied sarcastically.

"Well that's Sasuke or Emo-sama as I call him. You should really try getting him to brighten up once in a while. Oh crap, we're supposed to meet Asuma-sensei! We gotta go Kakashi" Naruto said.

"Alrighty then…Oh and by the way be prepared for training this weekend, I have something special in store for you twelve…" Kakashi said.

"Huh? What training?" Sakura asked. But Kakashi was gone, a few leaves left fluttering to the ground in his place.

"I don't understand…" Naruto said.

"What else is new?" Sakura quipped.

"No seriously. I thought Asuma was our sensei, I mean Kakashi helped us with the basics every now and then, but nothing serious. And who the hell did he mean by 'you twelve'?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto, Sakura, as much as I love listening to you two blather on and on and on and on and on, Asuma-Sensei told us to meet him at the tower fifteen minutes ago. Not exactly quick, even for us lowly genin" Shikamaru said. Naruto and Sakrua nodded and took off once again toward the tower

-

Asuma exhaled a final puff of smoke and crushed the smoldering cigarette butt beneath his sandal. _'Where the hell are they? It wouldn't take a civilian this long to get here'. _The chain smoking Jonin reached into his vest and pulled his pack of cigarette's out. He shook the box. _'Only one? Jesus, maybe I should cut back a little bit…'_ Asuma sensed a new presence in front of him. He looked up from his precious tobacco and saw his genin team sitting cross-legged on the grass.

"Are you sure all three of you made genin? Because that was pitiful, even my tar filled lungs aren't that bad" Asuma joked.

"Not our fault, Kakashi can be…distracting. So why'd you bring us over here again?" Naruto asked.

"Were going to get to know each other a little better. Tell me a little about yourself. Your likes, dislikes, ninja skills, dreams, things like that I'll go first. I'm Asuma Sarutobi. I like..." Asuma lit his cigarette " my smokes. I dislike arrogance. My dream is…well I'd like to get married and have a family someday. And you'll find out about my ninja skills in good time. Blond kid, your up" Asuma said as he pointed to Naruto.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen, I dislike how long it takes ramen to cook, I know Kage Bunshin and the academy justu, and my dream is to be Hokage someday" Naruto replied.

"So you want to be Hokage like my old man? Well it's going to take a lot of…you can use Kage Bunshin? No offense kid, but I call bullshit on that. I've seen all your grades, and unimpressive is an understatement" Asuma said. Naruto stood up and made a cross with his fingers.

"Kage Bunshin no Justu!" And another Naruto appeared.

"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle…" Asuma said.

"Want him to do anything for you?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah. I'm out of smokes. Go to the nearest store and get me this kind" Asuma handed the box to the clone.

"You heard him! Move your ass or so help me god I'll poof you into oblivion!" Naruto shouted at his clone. The second Naruto saluted.

"Right boss!" And the clone took off.

"Sensei? How's the Kage Bunshin going to buy cigarettes? We're underage" Sakura said doubtfully.

"So you don't know? Kids, that headband is more than just an accessory. Becoming a genin means becoming an adult. You can purchase tobacco, own land, leave your parents house, and get rip-roarin' drunk if you feel like it" Asuma explained. "But let's talk perks later. Pineapple-head, your up". Shikamaru sat up.

"Troublesome. Shikamaru Nara. I like sleeping and cloud watching. I dislike anything troublesome, which is most things. My dream is about the same as yours sensei. Oh and I can use my family's Kage Mange no Justu" Shikamaru said.

"Wonderful. Alright, last but not least we have pinky" Asuma said.

"I'm Sakura Haruno. I like Naruto and Shikamaru, and I like music. I dislike assholes and punks. As for skills I have a photographic memory and chakra control that rivals a medic-nin" Sakura said. Asuma took a drag on his cigarette.

"Alright, from now on we're team ten. I want you all to go home and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we're going to have a little…team building exercise. Bring all your gear. Meet me here tomorrow at seven A.M. Oh and bring something to eat for breakfast, your gonna need it" Asuma instructed. He gave a small wave and shunshined away.

"That's it. I'm going to the library and learning that justu" Naruto said.

"Like you know where the library is, lets go to my house. My mom said bring my teammates over for a huge dinner after we passed" Shikamaru said.

"Will there be ramen there?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"No" Shikamaru replied. The blonde's face fell. Sakura grabbed his wrist and began dragging him along.

"Naruto, we'll get all the ramen you can eat tomorrow, I want some home cooked food for once" Sakura said forcefully.

"We'll then maybe you should quit your bitchin' and get in the kitchen!" Naruto shouted.

"What the hell did you say?" Sakura asked angrily.

"I said…I don't know what I'd do without you guys. I'd probably be dead if it wasn't for both of you…" Naruto said sadly.

"Naruto…" Sakrua sighed. She loosened her grip. Naruto bolted away from the pink haired girl.

"HAH! Sucker! I'll see you at Shikamaru's!" Naruto yelled back as he streaked ahead.

"Get back here you lying little punk! When I catch you I'm going to shut that annoying mouth of yours once and for all!" Sakura shrieked before taking off after Naruto. Shikamaru face palmed

"Sigh…Troublesome pair of idiots. Aw well, at least I have a pair of troublesome idiots. Remember to take you filthy sandal's off Naruto! My mom will have a fit if she see's you track mud into our house!" Shikamaru yelled at his two friends. The trio of genin ran off laughing, a lot like their fellow green ninja, unaware of the horrors that awaited them in the morning…

-

**IT'S FINALLY DONE! CAN YOU FU*KING BEILEVE IT? Sorry for the huge delay you guys. I work forty hours a week over the summer, and I try to have a social life on top of that. So my writing time is a little stretched right now. Next chapter the real action begins, now that this four chapter prologue is over. This will be the longest chapter I've ever written, almost five thousand words. Your support has been amazing, I can't wait to see the feedback I get from this chapter. Thank you all for READING AND REVIEWING! Now as for some explanations. Sakura's outfit is the same one she wore in the third movie, because I think it's cool. Second, the training Kakashi mentioned is an idea I don't think anyone else has tried in a fiction. It will all be explained in due time. That's all for now folks! Peace. **


	5. Chapter 5

** First and foremost id like to apologize for the massive gap in updates. Sorry everyone, but being a senior is hard. AP English, Physics, Pre-calculus, they all suck like you wouldn't beilive. I'm trying to get this chapter written and published as quickly as I can. So back by popular demand, here's the next chapter of Team Dropout!**

**-**

I don't own Naruto, nor do I condone any illegal action advocated in this fanfiction.

-

"I've known you for less than twenty-four hours, and I'm already reconsidering my carreer choice" Shikamaru muttered.

"Has all that cancerous smoke you love to inhale gotten to your brain sensei?" Sakura asked sharply.

"Surely you can't be serious?" Naruto questioned. Asuma gave his three new charges a cheeky smile.

"I'm dead serious. And don't call me Shirley" the bearded man replied. He held out his hands once again. The trio of genin gave a reluctant sigh and took their sensei's offering. "Now as I was saying…I've designed these battle simulation vests so I can gauge your combat readine…" Naruto cut Asuma off.

"You mean these bleached Chunin vests you glued water balloons to?" Naruto grinned like a Cheshire cat. Asuma huffed and flicked his cigarette butt at the blonde.

"Readiness. You'll notice the balloons are placed on the vests at several kill-zones. Heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, and throat. For two minutes I am going to try and get rid of as many of those balloons as I possibly can. Your only objective is to stay alive. And I suggest you treat this as the real deal. I won't lie to you kids, you've got quite a few reality checks ahead of you. But we can talk about that later. And finally, because I'm a generous sensei, I'm going to let you three give me one restriction for the test" Asuma plucked a fresh cigarette from behind his ear and perched it between his lips.

"No kunai or shuriken" Sakura said triumphantly. _'We've got this in the bag...'_ Naruto and Shikamaru agreed. They would pass for sure now. Asuma stroked his beard for a moment and nodded.

"Alrighty then" Asuma said. He reached into his vest and produced his gleaming silver Zippo. "As soon as I light this cigarette, your two minutes of hell begins". The sound of the lighter opening snapped the genin to attention. Click. Click. Click. "Dammit! Out of fluid again…" Asuma swore. He pocketed the lighter, and did a few seals, ending on tiger. "Fire finger justu" A small orange flame licked upwards from the tip of his pointer finger. He dipped the end of the cigarette into the justu and inhaled. "For the next one hundred and twenty seconds, your asses are mine" Asuma said excitedly. He disappeared from sight a split-second later. Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sakura instinctively jumped back and stood in a triangle formation.

"Any bright ideas Shikamaru?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru looked around the clearing and shrugged.

"Nope. At least not until I know some of sensei's taijustu or ninjustu." Shikamaru replied.

"Funny you should mention that Shikamaru…" Asuma said as he appeared in front of the trio. " C'mon, you each get a free shot. How bout it Sakura? Your file said your prone to anger and physical violence" Asuma said. Sakura's pale face turned bright red.

"I'll show violence!" Sakura howled. She pulled a kunai from her holster and slashed across Asuma's chest. Instead of a spray of blood, a poof a smoke and a scratched log appeared in his place.

"If you lose control of your emotions on the battlefield, your going to die. Now who's next?" Asuma said. Shikamaru was already making hand sings.

"Kage Mane no Justu!" Shikamaru shouted. A black tendril snaked its way toward the bearded man. Asuma rolled his eyes and leapt backward, just out of the shadows range. Shikamaru dropped the justu and sighed.

"If your going to use a justu don't announce it to your opponent. A ninja's greatest weapon is the element of surprise" Asuma lectured. Naruto was boiling with anger.

"Nobody makes a fool out of Shikamaru and Sakura but me! Kage Bunshin no Justu!" Ten Naruto's materialized and charged Asuma head on.

"Have you paid attention to a word I've said?" Asuma said as he punched a clone in the face. Another clone tried an axe kick to Asuma's head, only to be caught by the ankle and smashed into the earth. In a frenzy of failed blows to their sensei every single doppelganger was destroyed. Naruto swore loudly and fell back to his teammates.

_'Dammit he's tough. At least he didn't get any balloons…' _Naruto thought.

"Well we have about…" Asuma looked at his wrist "twenty more seconds. I'm impressed". He reached into his pouch and pulled two glinting metal trench-knives out, spinning them wildly on his index fingers. And with a gust of wind he sprinted toward his students, slashing and stabbing at the latex organs hanging from their frames. Instantly Naruto, Sakura and Shikamaru were streaked in black paint. Sakura shook the dripping liquid from her arms.

"Was all this really necessary?…" was all she could mutter. Asuma laughed and started clapping.

"That was a good effort. However, if this had been a real fight you three wouldn't be standing there." He said with serious tone.

"Statistically speaking, the chances of us three having to fight a jonin level opponent without any assistance is about as probable as being struck by lightning." Shikamaru replied.

s

"The message that I have been trying to relay to you three is that your days of 'playing ninja' are over." Asuma motioned to a circle of rocks beneath the shade of a maple tree. The trio sighed and trotted after their teacher, leaving a path of black footprints and drops behind them.

"As I said before, there are a few things you need to understand about being a shinobi of Konoha. At any moment, the village could command you to do something that places you well within death's grasp. When you signed your name into the ninja corps, you signed an oath to do whatever this village asks of you. And one day you will have to decide whether to take a life, or have your own taken." Sakura looked like she was about to cry. Shikamaru gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder.

"Sensei?" Naruto asked "Have you ever killed before?" Asuma took a long drag of his cigarette.

"Yes Naruto. I've sent many good men and women to the Shinigami, but a lot of bad one's too." Shikamaru was for once giving his full and undivided attention to Asuma. Naruto's cheerful demeanor had vanished as well.

"But don't get the wrong idea about this you guys! I'm here to teach and protect you three. And don't focus on the killing aspect of being a ninja. We'd have to be at war for genin to be sent into battle. Now cheer up, because I have some good news. The old man thinks that standards have slipped in recent years. So every weekend, a different one of the genin instructors will have a group training session with the rookies and another genin team. Dad hopes that you'll all benefit from a little specialized training. Kakashi's got you guys this weekend for ninjustu training." Asuma rambled. Shikamaru raised his hand.

"So what your trying to tell us is that instead of relaxing on one of our days off we get to train? Fan-freakin-tabulous. Any other 'good' news sensei?" Shikamaru asked.

"Actually yes. You three can keep the vests, I think they suit you. Meet me here at the same time tomorrow, after training you get your first D-rank mission." Asuma said as he turned and left. He gave a lazy wave and disappeared from sight. Shikamaru glanced down at their gifts. The black paint gave the vests a camouflaged appearance.

"Cool!" Naruto exclaimed. Sakura eye the vest and shrugged.

"Whatever, but on to more important matters…what mischief should we get ourselves into today?" Sakura said with a lecherous grin.

-

_Later that afternoon…_

" There going to kill us when they wake up you know…" Shikamaru intoned as the trio sauntered away from their latest prank.

"Seeing Ino with dreadlocked hair is completely worth whatever 'revenge' they come up with." Naruto replied "How exactly did you put them asleep again Sakura-Chan?"

"It's a genjustu I read about. All you need is a medium for the victim to sense, in this case I used…" Sakura began. Naruto waved his hand.

"Blah blah blah, genjustu, like I thought. I thought Sasuke looked particularly like a jackass with his pigtails. It's a shame we couldn't get Chouji, but I couldn't think of anything weirder than the way his head already is." The blonde retorted. Instead of giving Naruto a well deserved thrashing, she just sighed and looked up at the bright blue sky.

"Uh, it's only two o'clock. And we've run out of things to do. I wish there was a beach nearby…" Sakura groaned. Naruto stopped in his tracks. An devilish glint appeared in his sapphire eyes.

"Who says we don't?" he asked. Shikamaru threw his hands up in protest.

"No way. I know that look Naruto. The last time you got that look in your eye, we ended up stranded in a ravine for three days." Shikamaru said. Naruto pulled out a notepad and pen from his holster and began scribbling. He tore the papers out and handed one to both Sakura and Shikamaru.

"Get everything on these lists and meet me at our apartment in an hour. And to help you with the _shopping_…" Naruto made a familiar seal. "Kage Bunshin no Justu!" Eight clones appeared and saluted. "For the remainder of your miserable existences, you are to do whatever Sakura and Shikamaru tell you to. Dismissed!"

"Right boss!" The clones chorused. Sakura gave Naruto a weary glare.

"And what, pray-tell, are you going to do?" she questioned. Blonde eyebrows bobbed up and down.

"What I do best."  
-

_About an hour later…_

Shikamaru and Sakura gave each other an identical 'I'm going to kill Naruto' look. The four clones assigned to each of them brought up the rear, bags in tow.

"I spent the last hour lugging bags of sand back here. What did the idiot have you get? Shikamaru asked.

"A BBQ pit, charcoal, food, and a case of these…" Sakura said as she reached into one of the bags. She pulled a dark brown bottle of beer out and tossed it to Shikamaru.

"Asuma sensei wasn't kidding, huh?" Shikamaru said while turning the bottle over in his hands. 'They say everyone has adolescent brushes with drugs and alcohol…'

"I know how you feel" Sakura said. Shikamaru's eyes widened. "It's kinda weird, having so much responsibility. It feels like yesterday we were just kids goofing off, and now…it's like were grown up or something."

"I feel you. Lately my head's been killing me. Every single situation and decision, I have this compulsion to analyze them over and over again. It drives me crazy! And nothing I try makes it go away. Sorry if I sound like a basket case Sakura." Shikamaru said. Sakura gave a half-hearted chuckle.

"You don't know the meaning of the term basket case. When I was little, id…keep what I really felt and thought bottled up. Whenever I wouldn't say what was on my mind, a voice in my head would shout and rave about it. But after living with Naruto for a year or two it just sort of faded." Sakura replied. She pointed at the beer. "They say this stuff numbs the mind, takes all your troubles away. Sounds like a good remedy for all our problems." Shikamaru nodded. He did a double take when he noticed the bags of supplies were gone.

"Hey! Get up here and see what I've spawned!" Naruto shouted from the rooftop.

"Pipe down you overzealous cretin!" Shikamaru called back. He and Sakura vaulted off the ground and up to the apartment roof. The sight that greeted them was nothing short of breathtaking. Naruto had made an island resort on top of their apartment building. The sand was spread out over the roof, complete with umbrella's and beach chairs. The barbeque pit was slowly roasting next to them. He had arranged several wading pools and created a makeshift ocean on the other part of the roof. Garden hoses pilfered from neighbors homes trickled into the pools. And to top it all off he even had real palm trees in the corners. Shikamaru could only stare in disbelief. Sakura squealed and wrapped her arms around Naruto. In her near hysteria she gave him a small kiss on the lips. When she realized what she had done, she jumped back like Naruto was a leper.

"Uh…right. Dibs on the red umbrella!" Sakura said hastily. Naruto just stared off into the distance. Shikamaru slapped a beer into his hand.

"Here. I think you need this more than I do." Shikamaru said. The blonde shook his head like a wet dog.

"Where'd I go just know?" Naruto asked sincerely. Shikamaru just laughed.

"I'm gonna go put on my swimsuit. Be right back guys!" Sakura shouted as she descended down onto their balcony. Naruto and Shikamaru nodded and went around to the door to do the same. When the swimsuit clad team ten re-emerged and took a seat beneath the shady umbrellas. Each of them gave the ice chest a ravenous look, and dislodged a beer from inside.

"Cheers!" They said in unison before downing a gulp of their drinks. Naruto shrugged. Shikamaru took a few slow, tentative sips and stared up at the clouds.

"Not bad…" Sakura said. She took another swig and smiled. "Not bad at all". The trio sat there drinking their first beer, talking and laughing.

"I think I could get used to this." Shikamaru said. Sakura laughed.

"Sitting around drinking appeals to you?" She said sarcastically. "What…" Sakura began, Naruto raised a finger and turned his ear toward the Hokage monument.

"Oh crap, brace yourselves!" Naruto warned his teammates.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shikamaru asked

"FOREHEAD! Your dead you hear me!" a voice shrieked from off in the distance.

"Well I guess the genjustu wore off. What should we do?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know if it's the beer, or if my apathy has finally gotten the better of me, but I'm gonna sit here and watch this train wreck come to a screeching halt." Shikamaru muttered.

"But Mrs. Piggy is going to go ape-shit when she gets here, on me!" Sakura retorted.

"Right, on you. I didn't hear my or Shikamaru's name screamed out loud." Naruto said. Sakura began rubbing her temples.

"Look, nothing you do is going to stop Ino. If your world is going to end, you might as well have a front row seat. So sit down, shut up, and watch the fireworks." Shikamaru reasoned. Sakura sighed and took his advice.

"Give me another freakin' beer and stare at your clouds." She growled. Ino's incessant shrieking became louder with each passing minute. Suddenly she appeared on a roof adjacent to the apartment.

"Sakura! I'm going to kill you and I swear to god it won't be quick!" Ino roared. The trio couldn't help but laugh when the blonde dreads swung around her shaking head. Ino's face turned the hue of a tomato. She pulled a Kunai from her pouch and made a bee-line for Sakura. Shikamaru flashed through a few hand sings.

"Kage Mange no Justu!" he shouted. Ino stopped in her tracks a few feet after landing on the roof.

"Let me go Shikamaru! She's going to pay for what she did!" Ino yelled.

"Not until you calm down. Personally I think your hair is an improvement, it's alternative and that's cool." Shikamaru said. Ino relaxed a little bit.

"You really think so? Hmm, well I guess its alright. For now at least. I'm sorry forehead, I guess I overreacted a little bit huh?" Ino replied calmly. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's alright Ino. Sit down and have a beer with us." Sakura said with a smile. Ino nodded and walked behind the chair to the ice chest.

"Hey Sakura? Sensei taught us a lesson earlier today. Deception is a shinobi's best weapon…" the blonde said menacingly.

"What are you…ahh!" Sakura yelped as Ino pulled her long hair upwards. Ino's kunai made a metallic whine as it sliced Sakura's pink hair. Long rose-colored wisps fell to the ground around her.

"That'll teach you to mess with Ino Yamanaka. Now we're even billboard brow". Ino said triumphantly. Sakura just stared into the distance. She brought a shaky hand to the jagged edged that Ino had just cut.

"You bitch!" Sakura shouted. She stood up, grabbed Ino by the shoulders, and threw her into one of the wading pools. Sakura pounced onto her and began pummeling her face. Ino brought her hands up and managed to knee Sakura in the gut, launching her off into another pool. Each gave the other a vengeful stare before drawing another kunai and charging. A metallic spark flew from the grinding metal, and both Sakura and Ino landed and crouched. A thin red line began to form along Ino's arm. "Gotcha piggy…" Sakura said with a smirk.

"Good shot! I was afraid all the weight you carry in your forehead would throw of your aim." Ino shot back. Naruto and Shikamaru couldn't believe their eyes.

"Dude, this day just keeps getting better and better. We should do this more often." Naruto said to his pineapple haired companion. Shikamaru pulled two more beers out of the ice chest.

"No kidding. I say we pool our money from those horrible D-ranks Pops telling me about and put a real pool up here." Shikamaru replied. _SMACK! _

"You slapped me! I'm going to impale and roast you like the pig you are Ino!" Sakura raged.

"What are we supposed to do about them?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru once again shrugged and sipped his beer.

"Do you want to get in between those two? Cause I sure as hell don't. They'll get tired eventually." Sakura and Ino were once again mid grapple, trading blows like seasoned brawlers. Suddenly the familiar scent of dog filled the air over their apartment.

"Have any of you guys seen Shino or Hin…whoa. Sweet, a good old fashioned cat fight!" Kiba exclaimed. "You mind if me and Akamaru stick around?"

"Not at all. Welcome to Playa del Naruto, pull up a chair and enjoy the show." Naruto replied. "Wanna beer?"

"You have beer too? Why didn't you come get me earlier?" Kiba exuberantly replied. He plunged his hand into the cooler and joined Naruto and Shikamaru.

"Weren't you looking for your team-mates Kiba?" Shikamaru questioned.

"Hmm? Oh, they can wait. Ooh…that looked like it hurt".

-

The sun was slowly sinking into the horizon, and Ino and Sakura's fight had come to a near standstill. The girls were a mess. Scratched, bruised, and tired they half-heartedly continued to punch each other.

"That's enough!" Naruto shouted. He pulled two beers from the chest and handed them to Sakura and Ino. "Say your sorry, drink these, and cheer up you two."

"Boo! Let em finish the fight." Kiba hollered back.

"SHUT UP KIBA!" the other four ninja chorused. Ino and Sakura blushed and looked down.

"It's only hair right?" Sakura offered. Ino looked up and smiled.

"Your right. I'm sorry for over-reacting like I did. I have to admit, these have kinda grown on me" the blonde replied while playing with one of her locks. "Friends?"

"Friends" Sakura responded. She and Ino embraced and chinked their bottles together.

"Well, know that this is all settled, anyone down for a movie?" Naruto suggested.

"As long as it's not another one of those god awful princess movies you love so much." Shikamaru said.

"Whatever. Is there anymore beer?" Naruto asked. The group laughed and launched off the building. A silver haired figure appeared a few buildings away. With a few hand signs and a bleeding thumb he slammed his hand down onto the roof.

"Yo." The dopey brown summon said in a monotone voice.

"Pakkun, follow them and make sure they don't do anything stupid" the silver haired man asked.

"No promises Kakashi. I've never seen a group of kids so prone to mischief." Pakkun replied.

"Your telling me. Just make sure they get home alive and relatively unharmed. Now get going." Kakashi instructed. He pulled a blue book from his vest.

"New book already Kakashi? I didn't think Jiraya-sama could turn em out that fast."

"Hmm? Oh this…uh, it belonged to a friend of mine. If you don't get out of here your going to lose them." Kakashi hastily replied. Pakkun gave his master an apprehensive look.

"Alright alright. Can I get a biscuit for the road?" Pakkun asked. Kakashi rolled his eyes and threw the pup a treat. With a woof of appreciation Pakkun set off after the genin he was assigned to watch.

_'Those crazy kids…that reminds me, I need a drink'. _Kakashi pocketed the book, put his hands in his pockets, and then walked off into another night of inebriation and wallowing in the past.

-

**Okay, about the drinking. I'm from a little known city called Austin, Texas. If there is one thing were famous for here besides music, its drugs and alcohol. Kids experimenting with weed, beer, and pretty much every recreational drug in between (and I mean almost every drug) is commonplace here. Honestly, eighty to ninety percent of the kids in my high school are regular drinkers, pot smokers or both, myself included. It's just part of our culture, always has been always will be. I also wasn't completely satisfied with this chapter, it seemed a little to comical for the tone I was trying to set. Its also my longest chapter to date. Tell me what you think. Ill try to get the next chapter out a little sooner. Review, Favorite, Alert, C2, and listen to Sublime please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well, I have to say the past few chapters have been lacking on the action. Although comedy is my forte, ill try my damnedest to balance the laughs with ass-kicking. Also a big thanks to everyone who reviewed, 106 reviews and counting. I'm sorry about the massive gap in updates. Senioritis has really kicked in around my school, and the lasts few months have been a little hazy…if you catch my drift. I've also been focusing on music a little more than my writing, so updates will be sparse for a while. There is a scene in this chapter which is a tad controversial, but with the TC2010 measure finally on the ballot in California, I felt particularly inspired to write the part with Sasuke. I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review!**

**-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**-**

Naruto gulped as yet another one of Sakura's kicks sailed millimeters over his head. _'Dammit those kicks hurt, I need to end this quickly…'_ Naruto thought to himself. He threw a left hook that caught Sakura off-guard, then dropped to his knee and swept Sakura's legs. The pink haired girl dropped like a sack of potatoes. Naruto stood up and raised his leg for an axe kick. "Surrender now and your death will be quick evil-doer!" the blonde said triumphantly. Sakura tapped her hand against the ground twice.

"I could do without your asinine dialogue when we spar, you know." Sakura said dryly. She picked herself up and grabbed a few stray kunai that had been thrown.

"What fun would that be? Maybe you'd enjoy it more if you joined in once in awhile." Naruto replied. He pointed at over at a hillside that bordered the sparing pit. "I won Shikamaru! Get off your cloud watching ass and fight me!" Shikamaru turned his head towards Naruto and then back at the clouds above him. He waited until a large cloud obscured the light of the sun. Shikamaru smirked as he did the seals for his family's justu.

"Kage Mange no Justu…" He muttered under his breath. A black line snaked out from underneath Shikamaru and touched Naruto's now visible shadow. The blond stiffened then smacked the ground, mimicking Shikamaru's position. "Phase one complete, commencing phase two." Sakura cackled with delight.

"How bout you try struggling? It will make your demise so much sweeter." Sakura teased, imitating Naruto's campy voice from their earlier bout.

"How bout you shut the hell up!" Naruto yelled angrily. Shikamaru slid his hand down his left thigh. Naruto's hand did the same, dipping into his kunai holster. Shikamaru tightened his grip, pulled his hand back, and held it closely to his own neck. Naruto began to sweat nervously as his knifes edge grazed his jugular. "Alright! I give up!"

"Phase two complete." Shikamaru said. He released the justu and stood up. Naruto sighed and stood up as well.

"I'm glad sensei wasn't here to see that…" Naruto said dejectedly. Sakura bounded over from her seat on the rock and looked up at the steadily climbing sun.

"Lets head to the ramen stand guys, we've got another D-rank to do this afternoon." Sakura said.

"What did sensei say he was doing instead of teaching us today?" Naruto asked his teammates.

"All we got was a note saying 'train hard, ill see you three at lunch' pinned to our door " Sakura replied. Shikamaru yawned.

"Can we eat something that isn't noodle based?

"Why?" Naruto sincerely replied. Shikamaru just rolled his eyes.

-

"Good news everyone!" Asuma said cheerfully to his students. Sakura and Shikamaru politely ate their bowls, giving Asuma their attention. Naruto was shoveling ramen down his gullet at a sickening pace. "The good news is I have presents for you three. You've shown a lot of improvement over this past month, so I decided to get each of you a little reward." Teuchi pulled three boxes from behind the counter and set them on the table top. Shikamaru eyed his suspiciously.

"What's the bad news?" He asked.

"The Daimyo's wife has asked that we locate and retrieve he…" Asuma stopped when he saw the rage settle in on his students faces.

"No." Naruto began. "You swore to us this would never happen again!"

"Oh come on guys. She practically begged the Hokage because no other team would take the mission. She even paid for a B-rank assignment up front. That's where your gifts came from." Asuma explained. Sakura sighed.

"We don't have a choice now, do we?" Sakura asked. Naruto shrugged.

"At least we get some new toys." The blond boy offered. Shikamaru and Sakura nodded before turning to their respective boxes. Asuma snatched the gifts off the table.

"You can have them _after _you catch Tora." The bearded man admonished. Naruto groaned and fished a few bills out of his dark green jacket.

"Thanks for the food old man." Naruto said. "Are you actually going to help us this time Sensei?"

"I'm going to provide reconnaissance from this great vantage point I scouted along the way" Asuma said.

"Translation: I'm going to sit on top of the Jonin lounge and smoke cigarettes while you three find the cat." Sakura said cynically. Asuma light a cigarette and smiled.

"You'll thank me one day kiddo's. Now get a move on, that cat's not going to catch itself."

-

It took two hours, a trek through the forest, and fifty shadow clones, but at least they had the damn cat. Naruto's face looked like a railroad map, a few deep scratches were still trickling blood. Sakura was holding the 'pet' in her arms, lulled to sleep by genjustu. The trio had to stifle their laughter as Tora's owner snatched her from Sakura's embrace.

"Oh Mommy's so happy that your back Tora-chan! Lets get you home and into a nice bath…" The Daimyo's wife prattled to her cat. She held the cat so tightly it may as well have been in a chokehold. Naruto let out a chuckle when she was out of earshot.

"I take back everything I said about that cat. No wonder it runs away every week." The blonde said emphatically.

"Troublesome…you called it a monster from the deepest pit of hell not five minutes ago." Shikamaru reminded Naruto. Sakura stepped between the two boys.

"You know what isn't troublesome? Our rewards! Now lets track down Sensei and get the gifts he swindled us out of!" Sakura said cheerfully. It didn't take long to find Asuma, Naruto could smell his brand of tobacco from a quarter mile away. When Asuma saw his team approach the lounge he waved goodbye to a few fellow shinobi and gracefully fell down to the street.

"How did the mission…" Asuma stopped when he noticed his genin twitch with irritation. "Alright, lets head to the training ground. The last thing I need is more collateral damage from you three." Asuma said. He pulled a small scroll from his vest and channeled chakra into the paper. The three boxes from before appeared in the Jonin's arms. They were immediately snatched by the three eager genin. Shikamaru sat down on a nearby bench, followed by Naruto and Sakura. The sound of paper tearing filled the dusty side street.

"These are awesome!" Naruto exclaimed. He pulled three sets of knuckle-dusters from the wrappings identical to his sensei's, but an inch shorter and with smaller finger holes. Sakura held up two black rods, each about seven inches long. She twirled one of them through her fingers and flicked her wrist. The batons telescopic end clicked into position, almost two feet from end to end.

"Riot gear? Not really the most...popular of ninja weapons, eh sensei?" Sakura said with a twinge of disappointment. Asuma sighed.

"I get no respect, no respect at all. Try channeling a little chakra into them Sakura-chan." Asuma replied. Sakura nodded and focused a little bit of chakra into the nightstick. The heavy, blunt tip extended out an extra inch into a grizzly looking point.

"That's an improvement." Sakura said cheerfully. Shikamaru didn't know what to make of his gift. It looked sort of like a bow his family would used to hunt deer. If someone had snapped it in half and glued the pieces sideways around the grip.

_'A little chakra…I got it!' _Shikamaru thought idly to himself. He lofted the contraption up and pushed chakra into the handle. Like a snake un-hinging its jaw, the bow snapped out to its full length. "It's oddly shaped, nothing like the yumi I was brought up with." Asuma reached into his backpack and produced a quiver stocked with arrows.

"That's a compound bow. It uses those pulleys at the ends produce a much greater draw weight than your old wooden one. I've got a friend who works in village R and D, and got that one to me for half of what retail value would be." Asuma explained. Naruto took a long hard look at the knife in his hand and began pumping as much chakra as he could into the trench-knife. The blade's edge burned with a bluish-white light, blinding the members of team ten. Naruto backed his chakra down and slid the knife off his fingers.

"What gives?" Naruto whined. "You guys get weapons that transform and all mine does is light up! Piece of junk…" Naruto tossed the weapon at the side of a concrete building nearby. The trench knife sailed through like the wall was made of paper. A loud thud, followed by a hiss sounded from the other side. Suddenly, a loud bang and a column of steam rose from above the building.

"What the hell was that!?" a voice shouted angrily from inside. Naruto gulped and pocketed his five remaining knives.

"Bail?" Asuma suggested. Naruto was already running, Sakura and Shikamaru in tow.

"Peace!" Sakura called over her shoulder. With a two fingered salute, they disappeared around a corner. Asuma gulped and disappeared with a quick shunshin.

-

"If you haven't already figured it out, those weapons are forged with special metals that react to chakra. The sharpening and shape-shifting are only the most basic things they can do. So for the rest of today, find a target and practice." Asuma commanded. Naruto and Sakura sprang up and trotted over to one of the thick wooden posts driven into the earth. He cracked his knuckles audibly and slid the trench-knives over his fingers. He gleefully began gouging into the wood. Sakura drew a single baton and pumped chakra into the grip, extending the metal point. With two quick jabs and a quick slash, Sakura drew a smiley face into the post. Satisfied with her work, she switched the baton back to its blunted end and channeled as much chakra s she could to the tip. She cocked her arm back and swung the baton into the post, transforming the 'face' into splinters.

_ 'I'm starting to like these things. Maybe I can finally beat some sense into that blonde idiot, and the lazy idiot too. _She looked back over her shoulder, half-expecting Shikamaru to still be lounging on the ground. He was 100 feet back, pulling an arrow out of the quiver. Shikamaru took a deep breath and pulled the drawstring back. In one fluid motion the arrow sailed from the bow and buried itself into the center post. Shikamaru's face went blank for a moment.

"This bow…isn't troublesome at all. Its awesome!" Shikamaru suddenly shouted. Sakura nearly fell over. They kept practicing and sparing until the sun began to sink over the horizon line. Asuma stretched and stood up.

"Alright that's enough! Play with your new toys later, bring it in team!" Asuma called from his tree perch above the sparing pit. He slipped off the branch and toed a cigarette butt into the sandy pit below. Team ten sank wearily to the ground.

"I think I'm in love with these things Sensei. Can I sleep with them?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Sure, if you don't mind waking up with a punctured lung. As you know, tomorrow is Saturday. Take the day off and try not to wind up in jail, okay?" he replied.

"Like they could catch us…" Sakura remarked. Asuma pulled a fresh cigarette from his pack.

"And you have group training with Kakashi on Sunday." Each of the genin sighed. "Kick ass on Sunday, ill see you three bright and early next week." Asuma said before he body flickered out of sight. Shikamaru stretched out onto his back and gazed up at the clouds drifting overhead. Naruto, much to Sakura's amusement, tried to juggle his trench knives. One slashed hand later, Naruto joined his teammates on the ground.

_'I'm bored…and boredom is the first step on the road to trouble. Damn ADD…'_

_** "But trouble is so much fun kit…muahahaha!"**_ Naruto bolted upright.

_'Did I just hear that? I think I took one to many hits from Sakura-chan's batons…' _Naruto took a swig from his canteen. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he saw Shikamaru standing up. The Nara heir rushed over to where he dropped his arrows and plucked one from the quiver. His eyes scanned the horizon as he pulled the drawstring back. Almost instantly after the arrow left his grip Shikamaru made the rat seal.

"Kage Mane no Justu." Shikamaru muttered. His shadow's tendril caught the silhouette of the arrow just as it was about to hit its mark. The arrow froze in place inches in front of the post, wavered in the air for a split second before falling to the ground. "Dammit…in order to maintain control and keep the arrow moving I have to push almost double the chakra into the justu. It's just too troublesome to maintain."

"But that was so freakin' cool!" Naruto exclaimed. He grabbed Shikamaru by the collar and gave him a violent shake. "Think of the possibilities! Think of the pranks for god's sake!" Naruto raved. Shikamaru shoved the blonde off and slung the bow over his shoulder.

"What do you guys have planned tonight?" Shikamaru said with a yawn. Naruto picked himself up and watched the lights flicker on in the village below.

"I dunno. Maybe we…Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?" Naruto trailed off. A cloud of dust had kicked up down the road, and it was getting bigger.

"Is that…? No way, it can't be. Naruto can't even move that fast." Sakura said. The cloud got faster and began closing the gap between them.

"It's Chouji!" Naruto shouted. Sure enough the plump Akimichi came into sight. He was sweating buckets, waving his arms and yelling like a mad man.

"You guys aren't gonna believe it!" Chouji shouted. He curled over and gripped his side. "Come.-pant-on-pant-there's-pant-no time!"

"Whoa whoa! Slow down there big guy. What the hell's going on?" Shikamaru asked. Chouji yanked a canteen off Shikamaru's belt and drained the water almost instantly.

"It's Sasuke. There's no time to explain just come on!" Chouji explained. He did an about face and took off in the direction he came from. Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru gave each other a shrug and charged off after their big-boned friend.

-

"I don't believe my eyes…" Naruto began "Are you guy's seeing this too or am I having a stroke?" Shikamaru rubbed his eyes. Chouji had led them deep into the old walled off courtyard shaded by an enormous Japanese maple with a confused looking Ino sitting opposite him. The smoldering, hand-rolled cigarette held loosely between his fingers was wafting a pungent and sweet cloud of smoke above the tree. And strangest of all was the goofy smile plastered on his face.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Sakura asked earning a sharp glance from Ino. She had a very motherly, concerned look on her face.

"We don't know. After training yesterday Kakashi sensei took Sasuke to the Hospital for an 'evaluation'. When he didn't show up for our D-rank this morning, Chouji and I went looking for him." Ino said with a sigh. "All he's done since we found him is smile and smoke that funny smelling cigarette." Sasuke chuckled and sprawled out onto his back, exhaling a sizeable plume of smoke in the process.

"For the first time in years, I can actually stand this place. When my brother…when Itachi killed the clan, he told me to hate him and when I was strong enough to seek him out. And then yesterday, a psychiatrist at the hospital prescribed this" Sasuke held up the hand rolled cigarette "and I just didn't care anymore. It was like all the depression and pain disappeared." Awestruck, team ten sat down in the circle on the ground.

"You feeling alright man? Because I don't think I've ever heard you use that man words in a sentence, ever." Shikamaru questioned. Sasuke motioned at a backpack lying nearby.

"Look, I know I've been an asshole and a shitty team-mate. I'm sincerely trying to make amends here guys. I haven't been this…this happy in a long time. So Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Sakura, and especially you Naruto, I'm sorry." Sasuke replied. He reached for the backpack, and pulled a zip lock bag halfway filled with bright green buds out. "It's called medicinal marijuana. They give it to chemo patients and some of the retired shinobi for a myriad of things." Sasuke explained. Naruto rubbed his eyes and when he was sure he wasn't seeing things, smiled.

"Well even if this is some elaborate revenge prank, great job so far by the way, it's a nice change of pace. So…mind if we try some?" Naruto said, an evil glint forming in his eyes. Sakura hit him on the shoulder.

"It's medicine Naruto, medicine that..." Sakura stopped when Sasuke opened the bag and held it up to her nose "smells amazing. So you just smoke it?" Sakura asked. Sasuke nodded.

"What's it feel like Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked, genuinely intrigued. _'I've been able to identify medicinal herbs since I was seven! How have I not heard of this plant?'_

"Well…giggly at first. And then it's sort of like having a warm, happy blanket surrounding you. It makes everything…just better. Food, T.V., even training this morning was ten times more fun than it was before. Here…" he smothered the smoked roach beneath his sandal, pulled a fresh one from behind his ear and handed it to Naruto . "Spark it up!". Naruto picked a lighter from the bag and put the joint in his mouth. He flicked the lighter and burned the other end of the joint, inhaling slowly.

"Not-cough-bad-cough…could use some way to cool it down though. It's a little…whoa…strong." Naruto blinked as a wave of euphoria washed over him. _'This is un-believable, it's like the best feeling in the world!'_ he thought to himself. Naruto took another puff before passing it to Shikamaru. The lazy boy appraised the burning square in his hand before taking a big drag. He then proceeded to cough his lungs out. When it subsided he smiled.

"Least troublesome thing ever. Sakura, Chouji, Ino, you guys have to try this." Shikamaru said, with an almost gleeful tone. The joint was passed around the circle for what seemed like an hour. Everyone was laughing and talking; discussing things that never would have crossed their minds in a normal conversation. The paper lanterns that hung around the courtyard flickered to live when the sun had set completely.

"Cool. Like a clapper, except with fire." Chouji commented. Ino took another puff and passed the joint back to Sasuke.

"Hah hah…Chouji your hilarious. You could be a comedian, I mean it. Is anyone else hungry? I feel like I could eat a horse." Ino asked. Naruto blew a smoke ring, and then darted forward to inhale it back in.

"Where would we get a horse at this hour? Let's just order ramen." Naruto suggested. Shikamaru just shook his head.

"You have smoked yourself retarded. Gimme the joint before you hurt someone" Shikamaru replied. "And send shadow clones to go get that ramen." Sasuke cocked his head to one side and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Hey Naruto, Sakura. Are you guys still living in that dumpy apartment on the other side of the village?" Sasuke asked. Sakura let the smoke waft slowly from her mouth.

"Yeah. What about it?" Sakura replied.

"The clan owned an eighth of the land in the village. There are about twelve fully furnished mansions that I technically own. It be like having our own city. There's even a farm we could use to grow our own stuff.

"Wait, so your asking us to move in to a mansion located in a part of the village where literally no one goes, and spend our free time smoking and growing marijuana." Sakura deadpanned. "This day just keeps getting better and better. I'm on board, how bout you Naruto?" The blonde headed boy mumbled something through a mouthful of chips pilfered from Chouji. He gave her a thumbs up while tipping the last of the crumbs into his mouth.

"Sasuke, how do you get more marijuana? The hospital?" Shikamaru questioned.

"There's this building they gave me directions to near the mission hall. It's the dispensary where the shinobi go to fill their prescriptions. Why?"

"Because we're going to have a house-warming party for Naruto and Sakura. How soon can you guys get moved in?" Shikamaru asked. Naruto laughed and sprang to his feet.

"Dunno. Let's find out. Kage Bunshin no Justu!" Naruto shouted. The courtyard was suddenly filled with copies, standing at attention. "Alright, head home and start brining everything here. Don't stop until that rat-trap we used to call home is striped clean. Understood?" The clones saluted and set off with a chorus of "Hai!".

"In the meantime…a movie and Chinese delivery sound good to everyone?" Sasuke suggested. The group of stoned teenagers nodded in approval. The last thing any of them would remember was walking towards Sasuke's apartment. The rest of the night and the following 24 hours blurred into a smoky, swirling haze.

-

_Sunday Morning…_

Kakashi Hatake hadn't been on time for something in nearly eight years, something he was secretly very proud of. But having every single one of the students he was supposed to teach not show up for training was somewhat alarming. His biggest tracker, Bull, had found his team's scent in one of the old Uchiha manors. The sight that greeted him when he walked in the door was nothing short of astounding. "What the…What the hell happened here?"

-

**Well it's finished. I'm not sure how well received the last scene will be, but I thought it capped the chapter off quite nicely. Next time we'll see just what transpired at the party. This is my longest chapter to date, over 3000 words. If you have a problem with their marijuana use, I apologize. I hope it will not deter your very much appreciated patronage. Well I'm tired, and I'm going to bed. Please review and thanks for all the support.-**


	7. Chapter 7

Note: Today I logged into an old email address to try and recover some information about work and noticed the hundreds of messages from , I had forgotten all about this fic I started writing, and writing in general. So I read through the first six chapters and laughed, and decided to pick up the pen again and write. Sorry for the long wait. If yall like it, I'll consider writing more.

Kakashi was, to say the least, alarmed when he saw the 12 young ninja he had been tasked to train sprawled out on the floor. But there was no blood, no signs of a struggle, and the genin all were breathing.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!" Kakashi exclaimed. It snapped everyone but Naruto and Shikamaru awake. Sakura had bolted upwards and hit her head on an adjacent coffee table.

"Fuck!...That hurt. And quit your giggling Ino!" Sakura roared. Ino complied and turned her head, noticing Kakashi smiling and waving back at them.

"Kakashi-sensei? Oh damn...we had training this morning didn't we? What time is it?" Ino asked sheepishly.

"11:30. What exactly went on here last night? You kids have a par..." Kakashi paused when he noticed Lee sobbing uncontrollably in the corner. He muttered something about youth and a besmirched training record before taking off out into Konoha, a dustrail billowing in his wake. "A party last night huh? Hungover are we? Well I know the cure for that." Kakashi bent down and picked up a joint, bent and half smoked from the carpet. Sakura beamed.

"Good idea sensei! Ino made us all drink something called Hypnotik. Crazy liquor from outside the country that tastes like rubbing alcohol and jolly ranchers. I've got the worst headache." She said, rubbing her temples.

"Hmm? Oh see I'm confiscating this cause you all slept in instead of training. I was young once too. However the second best cure for a hangover is running! Now get Naruto and Shikamaru up, along with your fellow genin compatriots, and meet me at training ground 12 in thirty minutes. I wouldn't make me wait any longer". Kakashi finished his instructions with a twinge of malice that sobered Sakura right up. He then lit the joint, smiled, and poofed out of the room. Sakura ran a tired hand through her messy hair.

"Alright, time to get moving everyone. Tenten, Neji, you two should track down Lee." Sakura pointed at the groove he had worn in the floor on his way out. "Follow the trail...I guess". Neji nodded and took off, Ten-Ten in tow. "Sauske, do we have any weed left?"

"Nope. Kakashi-sensei took off with the rest of it. Might as well get this over with". He replied. Everyone was beginning to stir and eventually they were all geared up and ready to go. The twelve genin shuffled out of the Uchiha district and made their way to the training ground as fast as their aching heads would allow. Kakashi was sitting on the ground and reading his Icha Icha novel when they arrived.

"So good to see you all, up at the crack of noon with bloodshot eyes and reeking of mischief. Did we learn all learn a lesson?" Kakashi beamed at them. The joint made him particularly...enthused at their misery. That did not sit well with Sakura.

"I don't like the look in you eye Kakashi. What exactly are you 'training' us on?" asked Sakura.

"Well, truth be told this wasn't meant to be a meeting to train. More like orientation. Hokage-sama feels that standards have fallen in recent years. The various council members, clan heads, and civilian leaders have...made progress come to a halt. We aren't turning out enough high-ranked ninja. ANBU recruitment is at an all time low, and chunin and jounin are dying by the score because of sloppy teamwork, developing technology outside of the elemental nations, and just plain stupid mistakes. Boys and girls, you twelve will be the prototypes in a new division of the Konoha Ninja Corps. Special Tactics Armed Legion of Konoha and emergency response unit. Or STALKer for short. As a STALKer ninja you will be trained in close quarters combat, high level justu of nearly every kind, long and short ranged weapons, subterfuge, explosives, ambush and gurrilea tactics, survival, and a myriad of other things I can't go into detail about. Your primary directive is the protection and intervention of threats foreign and domestic against our home." Kakashi explained. The genin had mixed reactions.

Shikamaru had fallen asleep, along with Chouji, Kiba, and Ino. Neji was trying hard not to vomit, ten-ten was holdihg his hair back. Lee wad doing sit ups. Hinata and Shino were sitting back to back, using each other to keep from passing out.

Naruto scratched his head, unsure of what to make of the situation. He didn't understand a lot of what Kakashi had said, but the few things that piqued his interest were 'explosives' and 'high level justu'.

Sakura looked apprehensive.

Sasuke was smiling.

'Finally...some real action! And real training.' he thought as he smirked to himself.'

"Uh...why is Sasuke smiling? This isn't right man! What the hell happened to you kid?" Kakashi blurted out. Naruto bolted upright.

"We all made a blood pact that the events of the last 72 hours would never be spoken of again." He stated matter-of-factly. Kakashi surveyed his young charges and sighed.

"Your all to strung out to train physically...so I have a better idea. Everyone meet me at the corner shop near Ichiraku Ramen. Ill explain more when your there. NOW DOUBLE TIME YOU SLACK JAWED FUCK-MONKEYS! MOVE! MOVE!" Kakashi screamed. All twelve genin got up and began running in formation toward the spot. Kakashi chuckled, sat down and pulled out the bag he 'confiscated' and a pipe. "There so easy. I'm starting to like the sound of this whole 'Lieutenant' thing."

Naruto had been the first to arrive, and immediately darted into the ramen stand.

"Hey pops! Hey Ayame-chan! Can I get three heapin' miso bowls please? And give em' wings I'm starving." Naruto hollered at his big sister and Uncle. They smiled back at the boy and nodded.

"Sure thing kid. Where's the rest of your little entourage? The other night you all stumbled in here red-eyed and stinking like a brewery, and bloody and beat to shit as well. You mumbled something about casinos, a bar-fight, and pulled out a suitcase filled with money. Naruto you ate fifty seven bowls by yourself, we had to shut down until I could order more ingredients."

"I don't remember any of that. Like at all...you sure it was us?" Naruto responded. He just shook his head.

"Your too young to be blacking out drunk...but I remember being your age. Just try not to over do it you crazy little punk. Here's your first bowl." Teuchi replied as he slid the bowl over the counter. Naruto dove into his meal with the gusto of a starved circus bear that had just broken the lock on its cage. Sakura, Shikamaru, and the rest of the new STALKer unit open the flap of the stand and turned away in disgust.

"Dude...I'll never get used to that. I thought I ate like a dog." Kiba said in disgust as he sat down and picked up a menu. Hinata began to fidget and looked around nervously.

"Sh..shouldn't we meet Kakashi sensei at the corner shop? I don't think we have time to eat lunch Kiba." she muttered. Sakura pulled up another stool and nodded when Ayame asked if she wanted her usual.

"Don't worry Hinata, Kakashi would be late to his own funeral. He won't be here for another hour at the very least." She blushed and turned toward Naruto, only to be appalled at the display of eating and bad manners. Sakura's 'anger vein' bulged in her forehead.

"NA-RU-TO! What have I said about table manners. You aren't starving, there is now way you can be tasting any of that, and it's freaking everyone out. Slow down and eat like a person or your going to wear that damn bowl!" Sakura screeched. Naruto gulped down a large bite and slowed his feast to a more polite pace.

"Why are you all meeting Kakashi here?" Ayame asked. Sakura explained their introduction to the STALKer program and she nearly dropped the ladle she was holding. She turned to Teuchi and he was already walking and closing the shutters to the shop. Naruto hollered about not being done yet when the whole floor began to shake, and the ramen stand began to sink into the ground. The twelve genin didn't know what to think. Before anyone could open their mouths, Teuchi lit a cigarette.

"When I was a little bit older than yourselves, I left Konoha and traveled around the world. Far beyond the elemental nations and across distant seas. By the time I was 25 I had seen the world and learned a thing or two about technology outside of the relatively primitive elemental nations. We are strong, hardy people that have remained for generations, mostly remained hidden. I found all kinds of weapons, armor, communications and a million other wondrous and terrifying things. By the time I was thirty, I had become a capable engineer and inventor. I came back and met Ayame's mother, and I got a nice job at village R and D. Ayame's mother was a ninja. After...after she passed I stopped showing up to work. I gave up on every project except one. The STALKer program was my brainchild twenty years ago. But after the Fourth Hokage died protecting the village I lost all funding and support. I opened the ramen stand and It's been me and my baby girl ever since. But last year, Sarutobi came to me and asked for my help. Since I doubt we will see Kakashi anytime soon, I suppose it won't hurt to get you all outfitted and ready to start training."

Everyone in the room was dumbstruck. Just what the hell had they signed up for? The ramen bar came to a stop, a stone wall with a lone door and floodlights on each side.

"Welcome to the nest. This bunker was built during the last war, and has recently been repurposed as your new headquarters. There are barracks, showers, a large and fully stocked kitchen, a TV room, a game room, a bar, training facilities and last but not least, our workshop and hot lab. Ayame will operate the radio and supply requisitions, I do equipment repair, maintenance, and research. Now, how about I show you all a few of my new toys?"

"Pshh" Neji snorted. "Like there is anything that I could possibly gain from your so called "Technology". Your an aging ramen slinger and his daughter. How much engineering prowess could you have? The only weapons I need are my two hands". Teuchi reached for a strange metallic object resting on a nearby table.

"Think fast!" He yelled, aiming the metal cylinder at Neji and pulling a small metal catch attached to it's handle. A bright blue light erupted from the hole at the end of the tube and accelerated so fast at Neji he couldn't activate his byakugan, and the orb struck him in the chest so hard he tumbled backwards and landed in a heap.

"That...was a pistol round. Fired from this contraption I backwards engineered from a weapon cache I discovered in my younger years. It's like a handheld crossbow that fires an assortment of projectiles more than a thousand feet per second. They call them firearms outside the EN. What you just saw was a chakra bullet, non-lethal and not very stealthy. A real bullet, is mostly brass with an explosive powder packed behind it. It would have left a hole where his chest used to be. This is just the tip of the iceberg kids. You'd shit yourselves if you knew how many favors were called, resources allocated, plain cash spent on this program. You are the future of this village. And I'll do whatever I have to in order to make sure you all kick ass and come back alive. Now let's see...I've got twenty pistols, two shotguns, four assault rifles, a sniper rifle, and a heavy machine gun. Along with ammunition and magazines for each. I also have some new uniforms for you all." Teuchi recounted as he lead them down a dimly lit tunnel. A light at the end grew until they entered a cavernous base, a wall of glinting weaponry and armor in front of them. The group of teenagers descended on the clothes. Sakura, Ino and Tenten were so entranced by the prospect of free clothes they began to strip and root through the racks of gear. Naruto's head snapped in their direction when he saw sakura slip her shorts off and casually stroll through the equipment store. He nudged Shikamaru and Kiba who immediately fell into formation behind him. Naruto silently made a shadow clone, and sent him to find chairs and beer for the trio. Kiba let out a wolf whistle, snapping the girls out of their trance.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Sakura asked, crossing her arms and shifting herself behind a rack of kunai. Ino and Ten-Ten did their best to cover up.

"Just admiring the view..." Shikamaru answered before a Kunai nicked his ear. "Hey!"

"Wrong answer Shika!" Ino yelled. Ayame stepped in before the girls faces got any redder.

"Boys, go with my dad and he'll teach you how to use the guns. Girls, feel free to take whatever you find. Teuchi ushered the boys down to the bases shooting range. Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and a now willing Hinata searched through the racks of clothes. Sakura had found an outfit she liked, black cargo shorts that hung loosely from her hips, a dark red tank top, and a white hoodie with a red cross insignia on the back. She topped it off with a utility belt and harness, littered with pouches and holsters. Ino found a dark purple skirt and a black duster. She topped it off with a fishnet shirt and high-heeled boots. She looked like a mini, blonde Anko to Sakura. Ten-ten and Hinata wore outfits similar to the ones they used to wear, Except Tenten was shoving bladed implements into pouches and holstering weapons as fast as she could find places to hide them. Hinata's outfit was a comfortable pair of blue ninja pants, a white tank top and a black hoodie with the Hyugah clan insignia emblazoned in white. Ayame smiled and walked to a nearby computer terminal.

"Alright girls, let's get you your new weapons."

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

"Wow...these things are fucking sweet old man!" Naruto exclaimed as he squeezed another round out of one of the pistols he'd been given. A sniper rifle was slung over his back. Each of the boys had picked basically the same outfit. Black pants, green jacket, and a camouflaged STALKer vest made out of kevlar, along with holsters for the guns. Steel toed boots, black gloves, and new headbands that doubled as masks. Teuchi smiled and patted him on the back.

"Your a natural with those things boy. How do you like the sniper? I made it especially for you." Teuchi asked.

"I still don't understand what you meant by "special for me", but I do love these pistols. Much easier to operate. I can't believe we are just now using these things. You say they're really common outside the EN?"

"Mhm. The council and civilians are terrified of em' though, and change in general. With that sniper rifle you could take out anyone from 2 or 3 miles away provided you have a good vantage point. They viewed em' as 'dishonorable' and 'in poor spirit'. What the hell's honorable about murder? These are clean, efficient, and just plain badass."

"I agree. Now show me how to work this contraption". Teuchi nodded and picked the rifle he'd been offered out of Naruto's holster. He took aim and Naruto immediately noticed the blue chakra flashing from his hand into the rifles grip.

"Once you pull the charging handle and take aim, the gun will begin to sap chakra for the shot until the second you pull the trigger. The size and power of the bullet depend on how much chakra and how fast you can push it into the chamber. I made it for you, because well...anyone else would probably die if they tried to use it to it's true potential. At a far enough distance, the amount of chakra required would kill most people. But your different kid. Of course, all of this is only applicable with the chakra adapting magazines. Anyone could pick up that gun and fire a normal 308 round. But that's enough shop talk, lets go see how the girls are doing, and if your lazy ass sensei has arrived.

Kakashi walked into the Jonin lounge with four scrolls under his arm. He found Guy, Asuma, and Kurenai at a table near the back, talking and drinking, and of course smoking. The joint pressed between Kurenai's lips smelled divine and drew Kakashi toward the table.

"Hello beautiful. You look so fat and stanky...can I hit it?" Kakashi asked Kurenai. She promptly knocked him on his ass and straightend her dress. Asuma lit a cigarette and started to laugh.

"Very poor choice of words bro. What brings you round Kakashi? I thought your day to train the genin was today? What have you done with our teams under the guise of 'training'?" Kakashi dusted himself off and tossed a scroll to each of them.

" I got mine this morning. Effective immediately, the four of us and our teams are being drafted into a new military unit for the village. Welcome to STALKer. I'm commanding officer and I have been given the designation Lieutenant. Asuma, Kurenai, you two are squad leaders. Guy is my new Gunnery Sargent. We've got a lot to talk about."

Tell me what you think. If yall like it, ill consider writing more.


	8. Chapter 8

6 Months Later

Kakashi strolled down one of the many darkened passageways that led to the STALKer nest. He was about two hours...two and a half really, late for some meeting. The Chunin exams were starting again, and this year Konoha was hosting. The Sandaime had called a meeting to discuss the exam and the progress of the twelve genin who had been selected for the program. He marked his place in the dog eared book that never seemed to leave his hand when the heavy wooden doors came into view.

"...Well if he doesn't show up soon I'm heading out. We've got drinking to do and little time to do it in old man! It's our day off. We're not even supposed to be here today!" Naruto moaned. Sakura and Shikamaru nodded. Kakashi slipped into his seat and cleared his throat. The chatter stopped and everyone rolled their eyes in anticipation.

"I was accosted by an inebriated dwarf assassin. Sorry about that everyone. Hokage-sama, what did you want to discuss with us?" He said with a trademarked eye-smile. The Hokage tapped out his pipe and began to pack another bowl. He used the fire finger justu and took a long, slow drag.

"As you all know, in a few days genin teams from around the EN will arrive in Konoha. And even though as members of S TALKer you are technically outside the normal chain of command, on paper you are still technically genin. And you will have to compete in the exams..." The Hokage stopped when a chorus of moans and groans came from the rows of seats where the genin where seated. Sakura looked up from the shotgun she was meticulously cleaning.

"We've been training our ass off gramps. Why can't we deploy on a real mission? Just one assignment where I can blast something. I just figured out how to imbue the chakra magazines with fire chakra. I call it dragon-breath. It's pretty sweet." Sakura said with a smile. The Hokage laughed.

"That is the second reason I am here. Intelligence reports suggest that there has been unrest in the EN. New countries and hidden villages are popping up left and right. There are four new villages alone which sending genin to the exams, and things are tense all over. Your job is to gather information from all the genin teams, as well as respond to any threat foreign or domestic. You'll need to be able to regroup and respond at any time so be prepared. Against the councils wishes I am allowing you to wear your STALKer fatigues and carry firearms...under the condition you only use chakra rounds. Live ammunition only when lethal force is necessary. And for hokages sake don't make the village look bad."

"Whatever do you mean Hokage-sama?" Ino asked innocently.

"Yeah! Were model citizens!" Kiba added, passing a joint Ino had just lit back.

"But I digress. I haven't seen or heard much from any of you in the past few months. Id like you to all go around and tell me what you've learned in the STALKer program. Lets start with you Naruto." The blonde nodded and stood up.

"Well...I've learned how to make shadow clones explode! With chakra and grenades. I've refined my taijustu, Guy-Sensei taught me Krav Maga and I've gotten pretty good at it. I use trench knives when we need to get up close and personal or just feel like working out. I've learned a few justu from Kakashi, Gale Palm, Hurricane Wall, a lot of wind and fire justu, and of course my two 45. caliber pistols. But my specialty is long range shots with the M82 sniper rifle. I could hit a wart on a bullfrogs ass from two miles out." Shikamaru lit a cigarette and sighed.

"I've found the guns troublesome. Too loud, and an unnecessary drain on chakra. I can shoot a hundred arrows in ten seconds, and pick them back up when I'm done. It's silent and clean. I do carry a pistol for emergencies though. I've gotten almost as good as pops in shadow manipulation. The other day I managed to stop one of Naruto's sniper rounds, and I can knock kunai out of the air so easily we had to switch to bullets." Shikamaru said. Sakura snapped the last piece of her weapon in place.

"I've gotten really good at medical ninjustu. I can isolate and extract poison, shrapnel, bullets from friendly fire..." She cast an angry look at Naruto.

"If you girls wore clothes that weren't so distracting I'd shoot people less in the ass." Naruto replied.

"And I've gotten really fast. With my M1014 I can get in and out of fire fights and render aid."

"I can tear shit up with Akamaru, and i'm a pretty good shot with my M4. Other than that, I'm on point whenever we need to track someone. Me, Hinata, and Neji can find anyone or anything." Kiba replied.

Ino crossed her legs and smiled. "I've been working on my family justu a lot. I can possess, control, and physically and mentally destroy someones mind. Along with reading thoughts and linking the team when comms go down, I also stay in touch with the nest and Ayame. I've got an MP5 submachine gun and a 45. side arm."

Hinata stood up "I've got the Byakugan for tracking, Jukken for QCC, and an M4. I can hit any target within 1000m as long as the Byakugan is activated.

"My kikai can devour all the chakra in the average shinobi in less than 30 seconds. I've got the standard issue M4 and I can spy on anyone, literally be a fly on the wall." Shino replied.

Chouji's response was garbled through all the food he was shoving in his face. But the shinobi seated around the table distinctly heard "Body manipulation...cooking...and my M240 Machine Gun. As long as I have my family's special solider pills we'll never be pinned down somewhere.

It went on like this for a few more minutes, and when Lee had finished enthusiastically explaining his use of two double barrel shotguns, one in each hand. The Hokage smiled and clapped his hands together.

"This has been...enlightening. You twelve are shaping up to be a formidable and awe inspiring force. Your mission is simple: Compete to the best of your abilities, gather intelligence, and protect and defend Konoha from threats foreign and domestic. You have three days to prepare. Dismissed.

Before the younger shinobi could scramble out of the meeting chamber, Gai leaped from his chair to the door and sealed the exit. No one, not even Naruto or Lee sensed the hulking green man block their escape.

"NOT SO FAST MY YOUNG STUNDETS! TODAY IS MY DAY TO PHYSICALLY CONDITION YOU! NOW GRAB YOUR GEAR AND LETS GOOOO!" Gai yelled as he drop kicked the doors down and took off towards the surface. The genin groaned, The Hokage laughed, and the Jonin just rolled their eyes. It was going to be an interesting week, to say the least.

Naruto, Shikamaru and Sakura sat in the kitchen of the STALKer nest and discussed their new assignment over a bowl of ramen. After a grueling 'ruck' in full gear with Gai on their day off, they needed a beer and a hot meal. Teuchi had set up shop, literally, where the elevator landed a few months before to supply the hungry STALKer group. Naruto ate ten bowls a day, four times that if he was really famished.

"So what do you think? Some kind of coup? Assassination attempt? Invasion of sovereign nations we're allied with?" Naruto interjected. Sakura shook her head.

"No telling, we need more manpower though. I've been reading a lot in the archive room down here, and some things are...troublesome in the village right now." Sakura took a sip of her beer. "Mainly academy registration. It's down almost 30% from when we enrolled. And we're getting more and more civilians by the day. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have 1 ninja to every 100 people in the village.

"Its our first mission that hasn't been a glorified D rank or escort. This is will involve heavy combat, subterfuge, maybe even some espionage. We're the first wave of responders if things get FUBAR. I don't know if were ready." Shikamaru chimed in. "Even with the training and the new weapons...my troublesome senses are tingling like crazy."

"Oh for fucks sake, you do not have troublesome senses!" Sakura hollered over Naruto's laughter. The boys liked to tease Sakura, it was a fun way to pass the time.

"I do too have troublesome senses. Sure as your undying love for the idiot over here." Shikamaru quipped. Sakura and Naruto began to back away form the table in opposite directions.

"That's crazy talk Shika! She's like my sister. I don't care how good her legs look in those shorts!" Naruto croaked. His voice cracked whenever he tried to lie about girls, something the STALKer's teased him to no end about. Shikamaru finished his beer, lit a cigarette and walked towards the exit.

"Whatever you two say. Were all sick of it though, you too are so transparent it's not even funny. None of us care." Shikamaru called over his shoulder as he disappeared from view. The air inside the kitchen became uncomfortably hot.

"He's right you know." Teuchi called from behind the ramen bar. Steam rose up from a freshly brewed pot of miso broth. Ayame stopped washing dishes and pulled the earbuds she was listening to out.

"What are we talking about?"

"Naruto and Sakura. It's the worst kept secret around this place. And in a ninja village, that's saying something kiddos." Teuchi replied. Ayame smiled and hopped over the counter.

"Aww...that's adorable! You two are perfect for each other." She squealed. Naruto tongue was tied in intricate knots he could not seem to unravel. Sakura's face was a deep wine color, and her grip was beginning to strain the bolts connecting the stainless steel table to the wall. She was muttering things to herself in a dark and unsettling voice. Teuchi rubbed his temples, this wasn't going to end well. Naruto looked like he was going to pass out from Ayame's teasing.

"But seriously, if your going to fool around you need to be safe about it. So we need to..." Ayame's line of thought was stopped suddenly by the slow creak of metal being strained.

"SHUT UP!" Sakura screamed

BANG!BANG!BANG!

The table hit the floor and resonated loudly around the kitchen. Teuchi reached underneath the counter and produced a toolbox and a pair of thick glasses. He sighed and slipped the glasses on his face and walked around.

"Ayame! Take Sakura upside and talk to her, quit egging em on and try some advice giving. And Sakura, give the kid some credit. He needs you to smack some sense into his thick skull every now and then, but cracking it open every time is going to give him brain damage. Boy! Go take a cold shower and get dressed in the nicest civies you own. Meet me back here in thirty minutes ready for whatever the fuck I tell you to do when you get here, otherwise you don't eat ramen for a month. UNDERSTOOD?" The old man yelled.

"Yes sir..." they said in unison. He rubbed his back and brought a weary hand up to his face, before turning around and grabbing a socket wrench. He pulled up a stool and began to work on repairing the table Sakura had broken.

"I have to fix _everything_ around here, I swear to God!"

Sakura huffed all the way to the park where Ayame had led her. The older girl patted a bench near a playground and plopped down onto it. Sakura sighed and did the same.

"You shouldn't be so embarrassed Sak-"

"Embarrassed about what? Just because I like the way he looks without a shirt on-I didn't just say that." Sakura said, mostly to herself. Ayame pulled a brown cigar from behind her ear, and handed it to Sakura.

"Here. This oughta take the edge off."

"A blunt? Wow Ayame-nee-chan I had no idea you partook...does Pops know you smoke? Sakura said as she searched her pockets for a lighter. She found a box of matches, struck one alight, held it to the tip of the cigar and gave it a few gentle puffs.

"Now...like I was saying. You don't have to be embarrassed Sakura. It's not like everyone's betting on when you two will get together." Ayame began again. Sakura gave her a quizzical look and passed the blunt back.

"That was oddly specific".

"All I'm trying to say is that if you do decide to give the kid a shot, any time before this month ends would be great." Sakura hung her head.

"Your days in the betting pool huh? I do love him, and I know it's obvious. Ino teases me about it all the time. But I'm just not sure _how_ I love him. He's my brother, my best friend, my anchor, my teammate and so much more. How do I tell him that?" Sakura choked out. The poor girl looked liked she was about to cry. Ayame wrapped her arms around Sakura and stroked her hair.

"Slowly...and maybe not all at once. Naruto would probably die of blood loss." Ayame replied. This made Sakura chuckle.

"Your probably right. But what if he doesn't feel the same way? You heard him in there, 'she's like my sister'." Sakura said dejectedly. She took a long drag of the cigar and exhaled through her nose. The acrid smoke burned her eyes.

"Oh honey...he's so in love with you. He thinks no one notices, but he's always looking at you in the bar and during meetings. And did you ever wonder why he's always behind you in formation?"

"That little perv!" Sakura shouted. Although inwardly, she was trying not to squeal in joy. "But it is flattering. Thanks for the advice Ayame." Sakura said with a smile. Ayame flicked the tiny stump of the blunt away and stretched her arms behind her head.

"You wanna really mess with Naruto? Cmon, I've got some clothes in my apartment from when I was your age. There's a few things I wore that Dad absolutely hated in the back of my closet..." Ayame said. Sakura nodded and followed Ayame out of the park.

Naruto was jogging down the hallways of the stalker base back to the cantina, buttoning a blue long-sleeve shirt up to the collar with one hand, a jacket and tie clutched in the other. He had about a minute till Teuchi's deadline was up. He threw the jacket on and turned another corner before skidding to a stop in the cantina. Teuchi was sitting on a stool smoking a cigarette, a whiskey bottle and to glasses nearby.

"And with thirty seconds to spare. So you do listen after all." Teuchi said. He poured a drink for him and Naruto and motioned the boy over. He was struggling to get the tie on correctly. "Lemme help you with that son". Naruto fidgeted as Teuchi tied the knot around his neck. "That's better. You don't look like such a ratty little street urchin anymore. Now sit down and have a drink with this old man, and let me give you some advice." Teuchi slid him the glass.

"Yes sir." Naruto said, talking a pull from his glass and pulling a joint of his ear. He lit the tip and puffed it a few times. It dangled loosely from his lips.

"Now listen up son. In a few years, that girl is going to be beating suitors back with a stick." Teuchi began. Naruto laughed and ashed his joint.

"She does that now. Literally. Lee proposed to her again the other night after a poker tournament and she hit him so hard he thought he thought he was Freddie Mercury. Started sings 'don't stop me know' and made a piano appear out of nowhere. It was pretty cool." Naruto replied. "And you think I don't know that pops? What would she want with a freak like me anyways?" Naruto said dejectedly.

"None of them know? Not even her? I always figured..."

"That she'd understand about me hearing voices? You know its more complicated than that. He says things to me. Tells me to get in trouble, to lie, to steal, to cheat, awful and horrifying suggestions I have to ignore. I'm playing devil's advocate and I don't have any choice in the matter." Naruto said. The boy knocked back the rest of the whiskey in the glass.

"She's nuts about you kid. And you're going to take her out on a nice date wether you like it or not. I've got a lot riding on this..." Teuchi said under his breath. Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked. Teuchi had forgotten about his near super senses.

"Nothing of your concern. Your mission tonight is to take that girl out and treat her like a god damned princess. Tell her how yous feel, and maybe that way she'll quit breaking things around here." he replied. Naruto just shrugged and smoked his joint when he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. He turned around and dropped the burning roach. Sakura and Ayame were standing in the doorway. Sakura had on a black dress that looked radiant on her. And a pair of short black high heels and bangles around her wrists clicked as she walked towards the two men at the bar. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and a few strands hung around her face. Naruto's heart was racing.

"What do you guys think?" Ayame said with a grin. Teuchi poured himself another drink.

"I thought I burned those clothes when you were younger sweetheart."

"Daddy! She looks good, and not in a cheap or slutty way. She's a beautiful young woman and deserves to dress how she wants. Right?" Ayame replied as she turned to Sakura. The pink haired girl nodded, and spun around in front of Naruto.

"What do you think?" She asked. Naruto gulped, stood up, and straightened his jacket.

"You look gorgeous. Wanna go get dinner and see a movie with me?" Naruto asked. Sakura blushed.

"Absolutely. You look handsome in that suit, by the way." She replied, and wrapped her arm around Naruto's, leading him out of the bar. The boy stuttered and stumbled all the way out of the nest.

"And...it's still before midnight. That means I win the pool! Call everyone Ayame and tell them to have my money ready if they wanna eat anything around here anytime soon!" Teuchi commanded.

"I've got this week too. But you only picked today? Why's that? How the hell did you know?" Ayame asked.

"I had a hunch." Teuchi replied cooly.

"Well your hunch just payed off big time. Like seven times any money I would have won." Ayame said, looking a little sad.

"It's Minato and Kushina's anniversary. It would have been 13 years today..." Teuchi said in a low, sad tone.

"Oh daddy..."

"I've talked to the Sandaime, and he says after the exams he'll tell them the truth about their parents. Something about doing things only he can do while he still has time."

"You think that's a good idea?"

"Good? Not really. Interesting is a better word."

Naruto had taken Sakura to a western style steakhouse on the affluent west side of Konoha. It was an amazing meal. Naruto ate politely, orderd a wonderful bottle of wine, and was planning on paying for it all. Sakura had to admit she was impressed. Naruto on the other hand was almost sweating from trying not to fuck up. He'd gotten by on dumb luck so far, but things seemed to be going off without a hitch.

"It's absolutely disgusting! I will take my business elsewhere unless you do something about it!" Someone yelled from across the room. Sakura's ears perked up to the yelling and immediately turned around and glared at it's source. A squat, overweight woman wearing too much makeup and a gaudy yellow kimono was berating a waiter in the corner. Naruto was trying to ignore it. "I mean, the thought of it is horrifying! What if I were to be brought one of the plates or silverware they used? There isn't enough soap in the world to make those things clean...throw them out along with the riff-riff will you?" She asked the waiter, while giving Naruto and Sakura and evil stare. The waiter nodded and got two burly, scary looking men before walking over to their table.

"You've caused one of our most important patrons a lot of grief and I'm going to have to ask you too leave..." The waiter began. He looked down his nose at the two kids before dropping a check on the table. Naruto picked it up, stared at it in disbelief and tore it in half.

"Your kicking us out for no reason, and charging us double what this food is worth? Fuck you buddy."

"Fuck me? Wrong answer kid. Moose, Rocko, would you kindly toss them out?" Moose, as it seemed, wrapped a thick hand around Sakura's shoulder and squeezed.

"Let's go sweetheart. And if your boy doesn't pay up quick were going to have to...coax it out of you." Moose replied. Naruto's hand went up, signaling him to stop.

"Alright, alright..." He reached for his wallet, and produced a 45. caliber pistol from the back of his waistband. He aimed and fired at the large man, a large chakra ball striking him in the chest. Moose tumbled backwards into Rocko, and the two hired muscle flew across the room right into the portly woman in yellow. The waiter held his hands up and backed away. He stopped, pulled a bottle of hundred and fifty year old wine off the woman's table and handed it to the couple."

"Compliments of the house. Now please go." Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm and her purse.

"With pleasure, you sack of shit." She and Naruto strolled out of the bar, laughing and flirting the whole way, completely oblivious to the looks they were receiving. They strolled through the slowly emptying streets, no longer having any desire to see a movie. Sakura had a few ideas about why the populace held so much malice for her blonde friend, but none of them seemed to justify the looks and the whispers. They stopped near a railing overlooking the village, Naruto uncorked the bottle and took a long pull before passing it too Sakura.

"Shold've stolen a few wine glasses on our way out." Naruto said.

"Maybe you'd have a better reputation if we got into trouble less..." Sakura offered. "Maybe she was the victim of one of our more insidious plots."

"Heh. Who knows? Who cares? I've got a good bottle of wine, a beautiful girl, and a big ol' bag of weed. Let's forget all about the restaurant and just enjoy each other, alright?" Naruto said. "And do you know anything about a bet?" He added, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I'm going to crack a few skulls when I find out whose idea that was..." Sakura replied. Naruto gave her a knowing look.

"Okay, I'm going to crack Kakashi's skull when I find out it was him for sure...but I wonder who had today?"

"It was Pops. He probably just got enough money to retire on, the way people gamble around here." Naruto replied. He took another long pull on the wine bottle, finishing the red liquid. He tossed the bottle down the cliffside and heard a resounding clatter as it hit the rocks below.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked, scooting a little closer to him on the rail. "Thank you for tonight. It's been wonderful." Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously and quickly rolled another joint. He lit the end and inhaled deeply. He didn't know what to say. He fidgeted and pulled and mp3 player and portable speakers from his pocket. Teuchi's miniboombox could play at 100db and was crystal clear, all in a box the size of a key chain. He hit shuffle and 'My Stoney Baby' came on and he smiled.

"Your welcome Sakura-chan. And you really, really, really, should wear that dress more often..." Naruto replied. She laughed and took the burning joint from his mouth. She took a few puffs, pulled Naruto's face closer. Her mouth clashed against his and she exhaled. She broke the contact and laughed at Naruto's dumbfounded expression, smoke dribbling out of his mouth. Suddenly he snapped back into reality and wrapped his arms around Sakura, pulling her into a deep kiss. They stood there for what seemed like an hour making out, Sakura using her super-strength to keep Naruto pinned against the railing. They came up for air and nearly collapsed on the ground.

"So...does this mean were dating?" Naruto asked, draping his arm around Sakura's shoulder.

"Yes. But don't go getting ideas...just because we live together." Sakura replied. He laughed and kissed her on the cheek. He stood up, dusted himself off and offered a hand to Sakura. He pulled her up and they took off down the hill.

"You ready to go home yet?" Naruto asked. Sakura shook her head and pointed toward a loud, nearly vibrating building.

"Let's go see whose playing tonight at Foxhole. Sounds like a pretty good party going on."

The two young shinobi walked into the club and felt a little overdressed. Most of the people looked like they had just gotten back from the beach. Tank tops and shorts, the occasional collared shirt or mini skirt, and a few punker civilians wearing boots and suspenders. Foxhole was one of the STALKer's favorite hangouts outside the nest, and it didn't take long to find their friends in a corner back by the stage. Sauske was talking to Ten-Ten at the bar, Hinata and Kiba were laughing as Akamaru ran around the band getting ready to play onstage. Ino was in Shikamaru's lap, making out with the lazy boy in a booth. The new couple walked over and everyone's head turned when they noticed the two were holding hands. Some clapped, some whistled, some slapped their foreheads realizing all the money they just lost. Shikamaru and Ino stopped their fun and walked up to them. Ino squealed and dragged Sakura to the bar outside.

"AHH! I can't believe you two are finally together! I need all the graphic details right now! Lets go get a drink. Sauske smiled and gave her a mock salute as he left the bar, Ten-Ten now fawning over Sakura. His gin and tonic clinked in the glass as he set it down next to Naruto and Shikamaru.

"Well dobe its about damn time. If I wasn't so drunk I'd be pissed you didn't wait till next month though...I bet two grand on my days..."

"Can't believe you guys were betting on this! How many people are in on this?" Naruto asked.

"Alot. Like half the active duty roster found out and got in on the action. Kakashi had a half million by the end of the first round of bets..." Sauske replied. Shikamaru finished his beer and lit a cigarette.

"Well I gotta say I'm happy about it. And you have to admit, if it weren't for me none of this would've happened. My troublesome senses don't lie." Shikamaru said smugly. He pointed at the stage. "Looks like there about to start, lets go find the girls and party!"

"Agreed. Last weekend to goof off till the exams start. Lets make it count.

The band was a good one. They played loud and hard rock, and the STALKer shinobi had gotten pretty belligerent and rowdy throughout their set. Naruto had ditched his jacket and loosened his tie, and was spinning a barefoot Sakura around the room. It had been a perfect night. Over the cacophony of the band and crowd she heard Ino yell and they slowly reassembled. It was decided that they would take the party back to Naruto and Sakura's rooftop beach. The young couples laughed and danced into the early hours of the morning, falling asleep under the stars on the roof of their apartment. The boys let the girls go for awhile before waking them and sending them to bed in Sakura's room after an hour asleep in the sand, before rolling one last blunt of the evening. Naruto looked at his friends, his life, and his house and grinned like a cheshire cat. Things were finally looking up.

Review pretty please. I got ten last time and turned this out in short order, so hopefully y'all like it. Thanks for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

It was early in the morning, and the sun was just beginning to peek over the Hokage Monument. Today was the start of the Chunin Exams, and all over the village people were rising early to prepare for the influx of people here for the next several weeks to compete and watch the finals. Even the birds seemed to be up early, singing and swooping around in the cool morning air. Sakura Haruno opened her window and hissed at the sunlight. It was going to be another day of record heat in the aptly named Land of Fire, and STALKer fatigues were heavy, thick, and camouflaged.

_'No. This isn't going to work at all...'_

On the other side of the apartment her blonde haired counterpart had also rolled out of bed, unable to ignore his alarm clock any longer. He went to his closet threw the door open, pulling out a pair of dark combat boots, black cargo pants, a camouflaged tank-top and a black baseball cap. He dressed quickly and laced his boots up tight before reaching into his nightstand. He pull the slide from a small acrylic bong that sat on the table nearby, and packed a bowl.

_'It's going to be a long day. Ugh...' _Naruto thought to himself as he pulled a mighty rip from the bong. He coughed and set it down on the table when he heard a knock at his door.

"You decent in there?" Sakura called from the other side.

"Yeah, come in!" He hollered from his bed. Sakura opened the door and walked in. Naruto let out a wolf whistle and Sakura's expression soured.

"What?" She asked innocently. She had cut her black fatigues at an almost obscene length. And she was wearing her 'shit kickers' which were heavy, black boots with thick leather straps. A metal plate running along the sole and surrounding the toe made them particularly affective. She had what looked like a cumbersome, heavy backpack on but because of all their training, and her precise chakra control, the 100+ pounds of equipment didn't bother sakura at all. She had a harness and several bandoliers of 12 gauge ammo. She had her green leaf headband tied bandana style over her hair, and her shotgun slung over her shoulder.

"Did you pack any pants in that huge backpack?" He asked with a grin. Sakura sat down next to him on the bed and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Yes. And I'm only bringing this much stuff because you all insist on charging headfirst into everything. I swear it's like your trying to kill yourselves." She replied. Sakura took a hit from Naruto's bong and cashed it out on the nightstand. "Suit up and pack your gear or we're going to be late. We have to stop by the ramen shop and pick up orders from Ayame. Naruto nodded and reached underneath his bed, pulling his M110 SASS sniper rifle case out and quickly assembling the weapon. It was lighter than his other .308, and could fire 20 shots in one magazine. He laid the gun on his bed and pulled his two 45's from another case nearby and spare magazines and ammo. On a coatrack in the corner hung his vest, harness and holsters. He quickly threw them on and began slotting trench knives, one in each boot, one on each hip, one on his chest, and one behind his back. He pulled a large green duffle bag from under the bed and dumped his spare ammo, magazines, and knives inside along with cup ramen, water, fresh socks and a change of clothes, cigarettes, weed, a flask of good whiskey, and his hooded trench coat. He fastened the open end shut and slung it over his shoulder, holstered his .45's and made sure his sniper rifle was functional and loaded. Sakura was tapping her foot impatiently and Naruto smiled. He put the rifle on safety and hung it from his shoulder, and pulled the black baseball hat low onto his face.

"Let's roll." Naruto said as he shunshined from sight. Sakura's face fell sideways and she rubbed her temples.

"I hate it when he does that...and I really need to get him to teach me how." She said to herself. She double checked her gear and climbed out her window, before leaping off to the ramen shop. She got a lot of strange looks as she went from rooftop to rooftop. This was the first time anyone outside of the STALKer nest and a few other ninja from the village had seen their new fatigues or gear. _'I must look strange to everyone. Oh well, I guess that's the point. Shock and Awe, whatever Gai was raving about the other day.' _She thought to herself. She slowed her descent as the ramen stand came into view. Naruto was already there, as was Shikamaru. Naruto building a stack of ramen bowls, unsure of when he'd get his next fresh one, while Shikamaru smoked a spliff and sipped a black, steaming pot of coffee. Ayame waved at Sakura as she opened the flap of the stand.

"Hey Sakura. Wan't your usual?" Ayame asked. Sakura shook her head.

"No thanks, I'll take coffee, and scrambled eggs and toast if you've got some to spare." She asked.

"You got it." She quickly made Sakura's order and set it down on the counter. Next to her coffee was a small sheet of paper rolled around a spoon. She slipped the paper off and frowned at what it said.

_**'SECURITY COMPROMISED.'**_

_** '1 ANBU MURDERED OVERNIGHT'**_

_** 'THREAT LEVEL:ALPHA**_

_** '*USE FIREARMS AS LAST RESORT, NO UNECCESARY KILLSHOTS'**_

_** 'SANDAIME'S ORDERS:INFILTRATE,ELIMINATE,AND DETAIN POI OR HIGH RANKING OFFICERS. DEFEND KONOHA WITH YOUR LIVES, AND THE WILL OF FIRE BE WITH YOU ALL. GOOD LUCK.**_

__Sakura dug in her vest for a cigarette and rolled the paper up into a stick, before channeling a little chakra into it. The tip began to burn like a match, and she inhaled deeply. Shikamaru noticed this and reached for another, lighting the fresh one with the burning ember of the old cigarette.

"Your smoking cigs now Sakura? You need to relax fire-cracker." Shikamaru yelled over the busy ramen stand. His stupid nickname for Sakura. She absolutely hated it when he called her that. "Who knows? We might even have some fun on this mission."

"That's what the cig's for lazy ass. And the way you boys define 'fun' usually translates into 'big fucked up mess' which I then have to clean up." She replied. The coffee was strong and black, just what she needed to wake up. She finished her cigarette, shoveled her eggs into her mouth with the toast, and washed it down with the last of her coffee."

"Naruto. That's enough for today, let's head to the academy and check out our competition."

"But Sakura-chan...We've got at least four hours to kill before the exam starts..." Naruto whined. She started to tap her foot and Naruto hung his head. He picked up his gear and waved bye to Ayame. The ramen girl/ STALKer handler had a sad, concerned look on her face. She knew what those orders meant. Something big was coming.

Along their slow, meandering path to the exam site, the trio decided to stop and 'relax' a little more before on top of an old apartment block. Naruto pulled a small pipe from his vest and packed it with sticky green cannabis sativa. He took a hit and passed it to Shikamaru when he heard a familiar voice cry out for help.

"Hold onto that for a sec..." He said to his teammates. Naruto turned his hat around backwards and walked over to the other side of the roof. He crouched to his knees and looked through the scope of his rifle. Naruto frowned when he saw the source of the disturbance.

"What's up Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"It's my protege and his friends. There being harassed by some Sand genin. Get down there and see what you can learn, I'll be up here on overwatch. Light a cigarette if you need me to shunshin down there-"

"Hey! That reminds me. How the hell can you do that? Every time you ask one of the brass they tell you to figure it out on your own. What convinced them?"

"No time to explain, get down there now. We're losing a golden opportunity here."

"Whatever. Let's go Shikamaru, I have a feeling things are about to get troublesome."

"Not even ten minutes after breakfast and we've got problems. Troublesome indeed."

Shikamaru and Sakura leapt down to where the black clad figure was hoisting a crying Konohamaru by his ankle, his two friends cowering in fear. His face paint was purple and intricate, and he carried a strange looking bundle wrapped in bandages on his back. A taller girl with four pigtails tied in her sandy blonde hair leaned on a massive battle fan nearby.

"Let him go Kankuro. You know were not supposed to cause any trouble-" She was cut off by her companion.

"No way Temari. This little punk needs to watch where he's walking." He reached back to strike Konohamaru when Sakura stepped into view, stopping him cold. Shikamaru crouched in the shadows around the corner, arrow knocked and ready to loose.

"I would listen to your friend makeup boy. It's not wise to attack civilians within our country's borders. Especially the grandson of the Sandaime Hokage." Sakura said as she approached. The two sand ninja scoffed at her.

"What was that? I didn't hear you over your ridiculous hair color, little girl..." Temari said smugly. In all honesty she didn't even notice the girl approach, and covered it up with that verbal jab. Sakura sauntered up to Kankuro and did a quick once over on Konohamaru. She smiled.

"Your fine kiddo. Now brace yourself, LET IT RIP SHIKA!" She suddenly exclaimed. Without missing a beat Shikamaru loosed an arrow, and dropped his bow. He brought his hands together in a familiar position and curved the arrow just right, pinning Kankuro's sleeve against a nearby fence and releasing the frightened boy. The Konohamaru corps picked up their friend and drug him behind Sakura, quivering in sheer terror. Sakura was going to say something witty and topical, but the air became afoul with an evil presence that chilled Sakura to the bone. She reached into her vest and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes, before pulling one out and lighting the tip. Naruto materialized in front of her, pistols drawn and his fingers itching on the trigger guards.

"Feel that?" Sakura asked. Naruto's face went white. He lowered his weapons, holstered one and pulled a joint out from behind his ear. Along with super senses, enhanced healing, and all the other crazy bjiuu powers that came from being the container of the nine tails had one small drawback. Ridiculous metabolism. Naruto had to smoke half an ounce just to get a little bit buzzed, same with alcohol. Technically speaking, through heavy training, immunizations, and chakra usage, most shinobi have a higher tolerance for drugs. And most have a somewhat healthier appetite than normal people. Naruto sighed.

'_Didn't bring nearly enough to last...I hate it when I under prepare for troublesome things. Well, now's a good a time as any.' _He looked around the alleyway and held his hands around his mouth. "Where are you hiding friend. I can sense your chakra from here. I can smell it, you reek of something I know very well. And I'm not talking about this joint hangin' from my lips." He hollered out. Out of nowhere a small breeze swept through the alleyway, and a pile of sand began to build beneath a nearby tree. It began to take shape until it formed a person, a redheaded boy with a large gourd strapped to his back, and the kanji for 'love' tattooed in red above his left eye. The boy's eyes were ringed in black like a tanuki. He gave Naruto a once over, and then turned to his siblings.

"What did I tell you about causing trouble Kankuro. Do it again and I'll kill you myself. That archer could have skewered your brain if he wanted to. Temari...I expect better from you."

"Y-y-y-es Garra..." They mumbled back. He then shifted his predatory gaze to Naruto.

"What do you know of my pain? My suffering? Is that not what you meant when you called me down here? What is your name, leaf shinobi?" Garra commanded.

"Naruto Uzumaki. Genin. STALKer Pvt.1st Class" He replied. He shrugged off his vest and laid it on the ground, and turned to face his teammates.

"Guys. Don't freak out. This goes against all our orders and training, but's it's something I have to do. And please don't hate me for what I'm about to say." He said, his voice shaky and uneven. Naruto pulled his tank top over his head and discarded it on top of his vest. He channeled chakra to his stomach and the seal which held the Kyubbi at bay appeared, and Garra's mouth dropped open.

"Jinchurikki. You and I are the same." Garra stuttered. The redheaded boy pulled his black GI down at the shoulder, revealing the small, crudely made seal that held Shukaku at bay. Naruto and him began to walk closer to one another, making everyone in the alley tense up. Hand went to steel, Shikamaru swooped around the corner, arrow drawn and eyes blazing. The two jinchurikki met at the center of the dusty backstreet, and stared each other down. And then Naruto extended his hand.

"I've never met another Jinchurikki! Does your demonic asshole of a tenant talk to you too? Oh man theres so much we need to talk about...do you drink beer?" Naruto rattled questions off at Garra like a machine gun.

"I'm going to kill you if you continue to speak that way..." he replied. Naruto just laughed.

"Oh man that would be a good fight. But I think I'd still win. But, like seriously, do you drink? Cause it's going to be hard being Jinchurikki bros if you don't party." The blonde boy continued. The other people standing in the alleyway were standing by, trying to process a spectrum of emotions ranging from bewilderment to in Sakura's case, blinding white rage.

"HOLD ON A SECOND!WHAT DO YOU MEAN JINCHURIKKI?" Sakura howled at Naruto. He turned, his eyes lowered and he shrugged.

"It was a shock to me. I...I didn't know how to tell you guys. The Yondaime sealed the Kyubbi into me. He's a real asshole, always yelling things, obscene awful things and trying to interrupt my precious sleep. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way about me anymore, but I understand." He said solemnly. Sakura began to stomp towards him, fist cocked and ready to fire. She approached him, stopped, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Your an idiot. God...why didn't you tell me. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you."

"I already kinda knew. I mean, you'd have to be half retarded not too..." Shikamaru replied cooly. Sakura flipped him the bird and kissed Naruto on the cheek. The Sand Siblings were in mute, abject horror. What kind of crazy village was this? The blonde jinchurikki actually _wanted _to be friends with Garra.

"Look, it's getting way to serious and life threatening around here. Lets go get stoned before we take the exam."

"You get high before the written portion? Why?" Temari asked. Kankuro nodded in agreement.

"Study high, take the test high, get high scores!" Naruto cheerfully responded.

"We don't have...whatever that intoxicating herb you spoke off is in Suna. What does it do?" Garra inquired.

"Cures cancer, aids, headaches, toothaches, stomachaches, menstrual cramps, PMS, emo, sleep disorders-"

"Sleep? It makes you sleep?" Garra asked with a little bit of whine in his voice.

"Like a baby. Let me guess, the Shukaku won't allow you to sleep? Turns the voices and visions up really loud?" Naruto replied. He pulled another joint from his vest and lit it. He took a puff and passed it to Garra.

"It's got a weird effect on the Youkai channels inside our brain. Shuts their cages up tight, can't communicate with us or use our senses. I call it a demonic smokescreen. And it widens the chakra vessels connecting our systems to the demon's chakra network. So we can pull as much as we need." Naruto explained. Garra took a few tentative pulls on the joint and promptly curled up into a comfortable pile of sand.

"That...stuff...is great. I'm gonna take a nap now." Garra muttered. Garra's eyes shut and Temari and Kankuro began to freak out.

"OH MY GOD HE'S SLEEPING! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE KANKURO!" Temari shrieked. Kankuro was still having a difficult time processing what had just transpired. He began whispering to Temari..."

"What about the plan? If Garra transforms now then the whole invasion is fucked! None of the troo-" Kankuro was cut off by the erie sound of metal clinking into place. The Konoha shinobi were pointing the strange contraptions at them and closing in.

"Wanna run that by us again? Cause I think I had something crazy in my ear." Naruto asked, his voice filled with venom. "And I'm not talking about the demon in my head either." Naruto lit another joint and smiled. "Like I said, the THC blocks the demons control over us, and the cbd's in this stuff make it easier for us to access their chakra. Garra can actually sleep now." He lowered his weapon and made a shadow clone. "Go tell the old man the situation. Ask for an ANBU detail and further orders. Go." Naruto commanded. The clone disappeared and moments later 4 ANBU appeared and slipped Naruto a small scroll before handcuffing and sealing the chakra of the Sand Siblings, minus Garra. Strangely enough, his bed of sand had formed a small cloud and was pulling him along as the ANBU led them away. Naruto read the scroll and sighed. "Lethal force and live rounds authorized. Report to my office for further instructions." He intoned. Naruto put his joint out under his boot heel and leapt up to a nearby rooftop, followed by his teammates.

Hiruzen Sarutobi loaded his pipe with the sticky green herb his STALKer ninja had grown so fond of. It was a lot better for you than tobacco, but not good for a forgetful old man with a village to run. But this was a special occasion. The exams hadn't even started yet and he had three hostages, who happened to be the children of the Kazekage. He took a strong, deep pull from his pipe and let the smoke roll out of his nostrils. Suddenly 3 camouflaged and heavily armed genin appeared crouched in front of him.

"STALKer team Delta reporting for orders Hokage-sama." They chorused before rising and standing at attention.

"At ease-" The Hokage quickly replied. Naruto sat down and pulled out a cigarette pack, pulling one and passing it to Shikamaru and Sakura.

"So...if what your clone told me is accurate, you've uncovered a plot to invade and overtake the village, taken the Kazekage's children hostage, and told everyone in this room about the Kyubbi? Couldn't have stretched that out over a few days kiddo?" The Hokage asked. Naruto just shrugged.

"I wasn't missing an opportunity to meet my new Jinchurikki drinking buddy. And this is a good thing Gramps. Now we have double agents."

"What do you mean by that?" Temari asked nervously. Kankuro shot her a menacing glare.

"We're not saying or doing anything until we get in touch with Suna. You can't keep us here like this, we haven't done anything yet." Kankuro interjected. The Hokage smiled.

"Yet. Yet being the operative word in that sentence. Let me make this clear, you have three choices. 1. Cooperate and hope that your help can result in fewer casualties, a happier ending, and your safe return to Sunakagure. On the other hand...we can hold you till the invasion, prepare and strike accordingly, and kill every last one of your comrades. I don't know who masterminded this idiotic plan but they miscalculated. We will not go quietly into the night, the will of fire continues to burn as long as there is someone left to stoke the flames. And your third option is death, here and now. I would not blame you for taking the easy way out." The Hokage finished just as a dreamy eyed Garra was stirring from his nap.

"I just had the best sleep of my short life thanks to Naruto Uzumaki. Fuck my Father and fuck Sunakagure, fuck the Sound Village, fuck em all. Temari and Kankuro, be double agents with me or i'll kill you." Garra said menacingly. He extended a tendril of sand and pulled a joint from behind Shikamaru's ear. "This. I need more, it shuts the demon up, and gives me nearly perfect control of the sand. Watch." Garra replied before the sand tendril began to grow and spin, so fast the friction liquified and melted the grains into glass. A few tendrils broke off and spun into a small shapes, and then back into each-other until a beautiful, solid glass hookah stood before them. Garra used his sand to pull a hose from one of Kankuro's puppets, much to Kankuro's displeasure. He shoved the hose into the instrument and bowed before the Hokage.

"A gift. We are at your service, Sandaime sama.

Next time, the exams begin. Reviews are appreciated.


End file.
